30 Guests Backed Out of Attending a Wedding at the Last Minute Due to This Controversial Rule

Like many other parts of the wedding-planning process, curating the guest list for your nuptials can be an arduous task. Whether your venue has a capacity limit or your budget only allows for a certain number of people to attend, figuring out who to invite is a tough decision for many couples. For this reason, some decide to leave kids out of the equation. One couple established a no-children rule for their wedding, but they didn't notify guests of the order until three weeks before the event—which caused 30 people to back out. Under Reddit’s “Am I The A—---?” thread on July 27, 2024, the groom's cousin, who lives overseas, voiced her frustration with the last-minute adjustment.

The woman said her cousin is getting married at a vineyard in California at the end of August. Since none of the family lives there, she, her mom, and her brother booked an Airbnb for the weekend. “The invite came out only three weeks ago and we had to scramble to find a place,” she wrote. “The issue now is that I have a 4 month old baby who only breastfeeds and won't take a bottle. She had to drink from an open cup one time because I needed to take a driving exam and that is the longest she has ever been away from me. They just let us know that no children under 12 are allowed.”

After learning about the no-kids wedding policy, the woman immediately let her cousin know that she wouldn’t be able to come. But the groom and his future wife didn't receive the news well, as they had already paid for every guest. Instead of letting the woman go through with her decision, they suggested that she and her mom take turns watching the baby at the Airbnb or hire a babysitter. “To fly all the way there, pay for an Airbnb and then go back and forth during the wedding. It just doesn't seem worth it," she vented. "It's a lot of effort to do all of that by myself with a small baby. The Airbnb and plane are still refundable at this point. I don't know anyone in that area of California and honestly paying for a babysitter on top of an Airbnb and flight is ridiculous to me. He says it [is] standard to not bring children to weddings." In a clarifying update, the Redditor noted that she received an invitation for three people: herself, her husband, and their child—so she made arrangements accordingly.

To figure out whether or not she handled the situation correctly, the woman took to Reddit. But, according to an update, she wasn't the only one who thought the policy was unreasonable. “Apparently about 30 people have canceled because of this and that's why they are complaining so much about the costs,” she wrote, noting that the duo has since reversed their decision. “They have decided that a child-free wedding isn't feasible. They will also be setting up a children's play area.”

Fellow Reddit users agreed that the woman was blameless. “Your cousin is trying to make his bad planning your problem,” one person commented. “How ridiculous to ask a mother to get a babysitter for a four-month-old baby who is breastfed, in a strange city where she doesn’t know anyone. Your cousin has clearly demonstrated that he is clueless. NTA … by a long shot!” The general consensus was that the woman’s cousin was being inconsiderate. “NTA,” said another Redditor. “You're exactly right that they should have specified about young children not being included on the invitation. They also should have expected that some people might back out when they were told that at the last minute. It's all on them re: losing money at this point.”