How to Balance Attending Multiple Bachelorette Parties Per Year

It happens to all of us. One day everyone you know is single, and then unexpectedly, in the blink of an eye, everyone is engaged. Now, your text messages and email inbox are suddenly flooded with invitations to bachelorette parties for your friends, coworkers, and family members, and your social calendar is more packed than Taylor Swift’s tour schedule. 

Most of the time, these invites are welcomed and exciting. Who doesn’t love a great party, especially if it’s in honor of one of your closest friends? But with the uptick in multi-day destination bachelorette parties and the associated costs, like splitting a rental house, paying for the bride’s meals, and purchasing the required outfits, the costs can add up fast—both financially and time-wise. So, what do you do if you can’t afford to celebrate your friend’s upcoming wedding with a three-day trip to Napa or Palm Springs? How do you tell them your calendar is simply too chaotic to make it work? Will you risk a friendship if you don’t go?

Here, we tapped two wedding planners and an etiquette expert to share their best tips for handling a potentially awkward situation. We’ll teach you how to balance attending multiple bachelorette parties per year—and help you learn when (and how) to say no.

How to Navigate Multiple Bachelorette Parties Per Year

Yes, jetting off on a trip to sip cocktails on a beach while you celebrate your best friend's engagement is a fun idea. But you also don’t want to go into debt for a weekend celebration you realistically can’t afford. Plus, if you find that every single weekend is booked with a bachelorette, it’s easy to burn out; there’s only so much room in a month for wigs, matching tank tops, and club-hopping. 

So, what’s a person to do if they have multiple bachelorettes per year? The experts break it down below. 

Honestly Assess What You're Able to Handle

When navigating multiple parties per year, it’s wise to be honest and self-aware about what you can handle financially, physically, and mentally. Some people are completely fine with party after party, while others can’t handle more than one every few months. "It all comes down to your availability, your financial possibilities, your work calendar, and personal wishes,” says international etiquette consultant Jamila Musayeva. Event planner AJ Williams adds, “Between flights, accommodations, outfits, food and drink, and contributing to the events, the starting budget could cost $1,200 or more for each invite.” Meaning, take a good look at where you are in life and assess what is and isn’t possible. Though it’s a pretty big honor to be invited on such a trip, that doesn’t mean you have to say yes to every one that comes your way. 

Meticulously Plan Everything in Advance

Another key tip for handling multiple bachelorette parties? Plan out your life as much as you can! How many events will you have in a year? Are several friends engaged and planning big bachelorette weekends? Are you taking any personal trips or making a big purchase in that time frame? These are all important questions to ask yourself when figuring out your bachelorette party strategy. Look at your bank account, social calendar, work commitments, and family needs, and make a plan from there. Creating a strategy for every life event will ensure that you set yourself up for success once your bachelorette trips get started. 

Be Selective About the Trips You Accept

Your relationship with the bride and groom, as well as fellow attendees, should also impact your decision. “It’s important to consider who the bachelorette is for and the general vibe of the group in attendance,” explains wedding planner Emily Coyne. “For example, is it for one of your closest friends or an acquaintance you haven’t spoken to in a year? Do you enjoy being in the company of the ladies who will be there, or are the personalities not the best fit?” It’s okay to be selective about which trips you attend, especially if you’ve been invited to more than two events in one year. 

There are a few exceptions to the rule, though, where the experts agree it’s a good idea to make an effort to attend no matter what. For example, if you’re the sister of the groom and don’t know the bride (your future sister-in-law) very well, Musayeva encourages you to attend regardless. “Even if you are not too close to the bride, you still have to attend,” she says. “It is important to have a good start to that relationship." If you’re in the wedding or a very, very close friend, Coyne recommends prioritizing that party over others, too. 

How to Politely Decline a Bachelorette Party Invite

You’re financially stretched. You’re in the middle of a busy season at work. You’re newly pregnant, nauseous, and exhausted. You’re buying a house. You don’t know anyone else going. Do any of these statements resonate with you? Whatever your reasoning is, it’s okay to say no to a bachelorette party invite—really. What’s most important, however, is that you navigate this delicate situation politely, which you can easily accomplish by following the below expert-approved tips. 

Be Honest

Honesty is always the best policy when you’re declining an invite, especially if you’re close with the bride or groom. “While declining a bachelorette can be necessary, it's never a fun thing to do. It’s hard to say no to others when it’s related to an important milestone in their lives,” says Coyne. “If you’re burnt out on bachelorette parties, you can simply say, ‘It sounds like so much fun, but I’m not able to attend this one.’ Keeping it polite and brief, and letting them know as early as possible, is often the best approach.”

If budget is an issue, Musayeva suggests being forthright about it. “If you cannot afford it due to financial restraints, but you would love to attend if not for the costs, you can be honest and say, ‘I would love to be a part of your special day but will have to decline the offer due to financial restraints,’” she advises. Trust us, the person of honor will understand, so don’t charge thousands of dollars on your credit card to attend a trip you’ll later regret. 

Tell the Bride (or Groom) Directly

Saying no can be awkward and uncomfortable, but if you treasure the relationship with the bride or groom, you should tell them you can’t attend directly and immediately. Always explain in person or via a phone call, too—not a text or an email, says Williams. “Call the bride and explain why you have to decline, and invite her to dinner or cocktails to celebrate, instead,” she shares. “Then send a personal note before she leaves or hand it to someone to give to her at the beginning of the trip, letting her know that you are there in spirit.” 

Show Your Support in Other Ways

Even if you do decline, little efforts go a long way. “If you’d like to show your support in another way, consider a thoughtful action that contributes to the weekend, such as mailing the maid of honor a little gift to bring for the attendees, sending the group a bottle of bubbles to the hotel or vacation rental home, or covering a round of drinks,” recommends Coyne. “Get in touch with the organizer to learn what you could do to show your friend how much you care and support her, even if you’re not physically in attendance."