Guests Are Being Charged $300 to Attend One Woman's Bridal Shower—Here's Whether or Not It's Appropriate Based on Wedding Etiquette Rules

Whether you're the couple tying the knot, a member of the wedding party, or a guest attending the festivities, we all know there are plenty of costs associated with a pair's nuptials. What's more, many of these costs kick in long before the big day arrives. Pre-wedding events, including everything from the engagement party and bridal shower to the bachelor and bachelorette parties, generally have their own price tags for all involved, and while these most often add up to the price of a gift and a new outfit for guests, one bride-to-be is trying to get her loved ones to pay far more than that. According to People, a bride recently asked her guests to pay a whopping $300 to attend her bridal shower, which will be held at a local winery.

In a Reddit post on the /wedding thread, a bride's cousin shared her story of receiving an invitation to a bridal shower and being asked to pay $300 as part of her RSVP. "She sent me a link last week to reserve my spot at the venue. When I went to do it, it required me to pay $300. I asked her about it and she said that everyone is paying their own way," the guest noted. "I am beyond annoyed and can’t get over how tacky that is. Is this a common or normal practice? I am in the bridal party and am expected to attend this thing, not going isn’t an option unfortunately. Also it is at a winery and I don’t drink so I’m paying for something that I will not be consuming. To say I’m beyond annoyed is an understatement. Am i justified in feeling this way?"

Fellow Reddit users were quick to reply that this is not, in fact, normal practice. "Paying to attend an event where a gift is also expected? No way," one person replied. "This is not 'normal.' It's rude to expect people to fork over this kind of money for a shower. You nailed it when you said tacky," another noted. And, based on traditional wedding etiquette, the editors at Brides have to agree that the practice of asking guests to pay to attend your bridal shower just isn't acceptable. Though etiquette rules are ever-changing, this one is pretty static: The host (or hosts) of the bridal shower pay for the event, whether that's the mother of the bride, the maid of honor, the bridesmaids, or another family member or friend. In recent years, brides have also been footing the bill for their bridal showers. Asking attendees to pay their own way for this pre-wedding event, though? The etiquette—both traditional and modern—agrees that this isn't appropriate.

The original poster amended her original message to include a note about how much she had already spent around the bride-to-be's nuptials. "I was planning on giving her $500 as a wedding gift, paid over $1,000 already to attend her bachelorette party, and had to pay for my bridesmaid dress. I’ve already invested a lot of money into this wedding and I feel like she keeps piling on more things that I have to shell out money for and I’m sick of it," she wrote. "I’d also have to get a babysitter for this bridal shower because it is on a weekday (Wednesday, how random??) so my husband will be at work."

As users continued to chime in that paying to attend a bridal shower wasn't fair to guests, the cousin of the bride shared two additional updates. First, she noted that she would not attend the event after all. "I am cancelling my ticket and will tell her that I can’t make it. Thank you everyone for reassuring me that my annoyance is justified!" she wrote. Her final update explained that the winery had refunded her the cost of attendance. In a reply to one commenter, the original poster also noted that she still plans to send the bride-to-be a gift.