Bride Refuses Fiancé's Request to Have a "Best Woman" at Their Wedding

Even though the traditional “maid of honor” and “best man” roles have gendered titles, many modern couples are choosing loved ones to stand by their side, regardless of their gender. Such was the case with one groom, who wanted his childhood best friend, Zara, to be the best woman at his wedding. When he proposed the idea to his fiancée, she immediately shut it down and is now giving him the silent treatment.

In his Reddit post on “Am I the A------,” which he uploaded on October 31, 2024, the groom, a 28-year-old male, explained that Zara has been his best friend since she and her family moved next door to him when he was seven years old. He noted that they instantly clicked and developed a strong, almost familial-like connection over the years. “We've always had quite the sibling bond and even people who don't know us sometimes mistake us for siblings because of the way we interact,” he wrote. “I love Zara like a little sister.”

He noted that Zara helped him through some tough times in his life, from validating his less-than-ideal family situation as a child to supporting him and his son when his late wife passed away in 2021. Given the huge role she’s played in his life, he wanted Zara to be the best woman in his wedding. “She's been there for me at my worst and I wanted her to be apart of a new chapter in my life,” he explained. In one of the comments on his post, the OP also mentioned that he was the man of honor in Zara’s wedding and her husband is also going to be a groomsman in his.

When the original poster proposed the idea to his fiancée, Sarah, a 26-year-old female, she immediately rejected it. Sarah previously told her fiancé she and Zara “just don’t click,” but since the two of them are always “quite friendly and cordial” to each other, he didn’t think his fiancée had an issue with Zara as a person. 

So, the Redditor pressed further, wondering why she was so opposed to having Zara be his best woman. “When I asked why she said she didn't want Zara to stick out among the other groomsman,” he recalled. The OP explained that Zara would be fine wearing a suit, like the other groomsmen, but Sarah said she doesn’t want Zara in the wedding party at all. “She said she didn't want to give her friends and other people the wrong impression of me (which to me was very childish),” he continued.

Despite his fiancée’s wishes, the groom was still adamant about having Zara take on the honorable role. “I insisted that I want Zara as my best woman because as much as I consider my fiancée my best friend and want to make her happy, Zara is also an important person in my life and I want her by my side,” he shared. Now, Sarah isn’t speaking to her fiancé, which her friends are assuming means “there’s something going on between me and Zara,” he said.

Much of Reddit concluded that the OP did nothing wrong, and Sarah’s reaction is likely a projection of her insecurities. “I can understand where your fiancée is coming from, a lot of people will always be apprehensive/jealous of their partners having friends of the opposite sex,” the top comment read. “However, the entire time you have been together, she has known that you have a close female friend. If it is truly a massive problem for her, she shouldn't have continued her relationship with you.” 

Many people encouraged him to reconsider his marriage to Sarah because she’ll probably continue trying to push Zara away when they settle down together. “She sees Zara as a threat and I fully expect once married your wife will make sure Zara is cut out from yours and your son’s life,” another Redditor said.