Bride’s Stepmother Insists on Bringing Her Own Cooler of Wine to the Wedding and Becomes "Unglued" When Told No

Since both create a memorable guest experience, the drink menu is equally as important as the dinner menu at many couples' weddings. Those who choose an open bar for their alcoholic beverages pay a little extra to treat their friends and family to free, unlimited booze, a considerate gesture that goes a long way with attendees. On Reddit’s popular “Am I the A------” subreddit, one woman is wondering whether she overstepped for refusing to let her stepmother bring a cooler of her favorite type of wine to her wedding, since she and her fiancé decided to provide an open bar. Since she posted her story on July 16, 2024, the post has garnered 2,100 upvotes and 465 comments.

The bride-to-be, whose wedding is months away, said her stepmother recently asked her about the alcohol selection at her wedding. The Redditor explained that there would be an open bar with signature cocktails, plus the standard beer, wine, and liquor. After her stepmother inquired about the type of wine that would be available, the bride noted it would be a house selection of reds and whites. Her stepmother proceeded to request a specific type of chardonnay. “I told her I planned to surprise my dad (who contributed a generous amount to the wedding) by selecting a nice bottle or two of chardonnay from their specialty wine menu to have just for them,” she wrote. “She asked if there would be enough for her friends, and I said that the bottles were about $80 each so I was only going to get two, not enough for many people. (There is no cheaper chardonnay option on their menu, all of their specialty wine is pretty expensive).”

Unsatisfied with her stepdaughter's answer, the bride's stepmom asked if she could bring her own chardonnay. “I told her I would have no idea if she just stuck some in her purse - but she said she was thinking about bringing a cooler with a few bottles," the bride noted. "I told her that it was a pretty nice venue and she'd feel uncomfortable doing so - would she do this for my cousin's wedding (which was super nice) we went to a few months ago? She totally came unglued and stomped off."

While she remained calm throughout the exchange, the Redditor was hurt by her stepmother’s behavior. “What she said IMO really reads to me that she thinks my wedding is going to be cheap and her friends are very well off and won’t want to drink the crap wine we’re serving,” she wrote before adding that her dad asked the same question a couple weeks prior—and completely accepted her decision. Plus, her venue has strict rules that ban outside alcohol. Now, she’s wondering if she handled the situation correctly.

Redditors quickly took the woman's side, deeming her innocent in the situation. “NTA Why does she want to make a scene by showing up to a ‘classy’ venue with a cooler?” the top comment questioned. “Give her the venue's details and tell her to call them up and order her own bottles off their wine list, I am sure they will be happy to oblige her at $80 a bottle. At that price I am sure her friends will be satisfied, and your step mom won't be lugging a cooler like she's off to a beer garden party.” Another commenter pointed out the irony in the stepmother's response. “Funny how people can be so hoity toity about 'we are quite specific with the type of chardonnay we like' but be lacking in the most basic manners,” one person wrote.