Brides Editors Share Their 8 Biggest Wedding Etiquette Pet Peeves

At Brides, we know a thing or two about wedding etiquette. Beyond the fact that our editors look at weddings all day long and have a long list of experts on speed-email, we’ve also attended quite a few of these celebrations ourselves (and some of us have even planned our own!). You could say that our credentials make us professional wedding guests—and while we’ve all loved showing up for our closest friends and family members on the biggest days of their lives, we’ve also been privy to a few big-day blunders that live rent-free in our minds.

It’s worth noting that our editors’ biggest wedding etiquette pet peeves—which we’ve corralled below—weren’t collected in malice. In fact, we were just as quick to propose simple solutions to the faux pas that bother us, mostly because we know that so many of them are fixable. Ceremony start-time running late? Have someone stand up at the altar and give a quick update. Want to snap an incredible shot of the bride’s dress? Wait until cocktail hour, instead of whipping out your phone during the service.

See what we mean? All it takes is a little awareness and planning to prevent these etiquette slips. That’s ultimately the key: At an event where all kinds of emotions (from stress to joy) run high and experience levels run low (couples and their families don’t throw weddings every day!) it’s easy for a few things to fall through the cracks—and you can’t know what you don’t know. With the below (gentle) call-outs, we’re trying to close the gap, so you can plan, attend, or host a wedding with all of your big-day etiquette ducklings in a row.

Wedding Ceremonies That Don’t Begin on Time

“Just like couples expect their guests to arrive ahead of the ceremony start time listed on the invitation, guests expect the couple to actually begin the ceremony at (or shortly after) the time they were told. As someone who has waited over an hour for a wedding ceremony to start on more than one occasion, I can confirm that there's nothing worse as a guest than being stuck wondering when the processional will begin. If your ceremony is running late for reasons beyond your control—let's say your officiant is stuck in traffic or you're waiting for a short burst of bad weather to pass—consider having someone make an announcement and maybe even having light refreshments brought to guests.” —Gabriella Rello Duffy, Senior Editorial Director

Guests Who Wear Tech Watches to Weddings

“When it comes to wedding guest etiquette, there's a lot of talk about adhering to the dress code ascribed by the couple. These attire styles vary widely, but I'd argue that they have one universal detail in common: Whether you're going to a beach casual wedding in high summer or an ultra-glitzy, black-tie wedding in the fall, the outfit you choose should by no means include your electronic watch. They are disruptive and attention grabbing, light up at inopportune times (are you really going to remember to silence it?), and look out of place with most formalwear, whatever its degree. Since your focus is on supporting the couple, you shouldn't be worried about tracking your steps. Maintain your streak that morning and then swap out this clunky eyesore for something sleeker and on-theme (a traditional watch or bangle works great!), instead.” —Sarah Schreiber, Associate Editorial Director

Background Chatter During Reception Speeches

“I know it sounds obvious, but you'd be shocked by the number of weddings I've been to where guests in the audience speak loudly while members of the wedding party are giving their speeches. Weddings bring people from all walks of life together, so of course everyone wants to mingle and catch up. We totally support that! However, when it comes time for the parents of the couple, siblings, or close friends to toast to the newlyweds, pause the conversation and lend them your undivided attention.” —Samantha Brash, Director of Content Strategy

Wedding Invitations Without Dress Code Guidelines

“Deciding what to wear to a wedding as a guest is naturally a difficult task (especially if you're someone like me who overthinks every fashion decision). But what makes it harder is when a couple doesn't designate a dress code on their invitation. Sure, though most people know that weddings are a formal event, couples should still make an effort to steer their family and friends in the right direction when it comes to their day-of looks. After all, the last thing you want is for someone to show up in jeans to your wedding—or worse, a white dress.” —Corinne Pierre-Louis, Senior Fashion Editor

Reception Tables Where Singles and Kids Sit Together

“It's already hard enough to attend a wedding alone (without being in the bridal party)—don't make it worse by forcing your single guests to make conversation with and entertain kids! Instead, get strategic: Let the kids’ table be the kids’ table and intersperse your single friends at tables where they might hit it off with other guests, romantically or platonically.” —Star Donaldson, Social Media Director

Wedding Menus That Skimp on Volume and Flavor

“Wedding food should matter just as much as décor, fashion, and every other aspect of the big day. After all, it can be one of the most memorable parts of your wedding. Skimping on hiring a proper caterer to ensure your food not only tastes good, but you have enough to feed all guests is key to making sure they leave your big day feeling full and happy. As someone who has been to a wedding (or any event) and has barely touched their plate on some occasions, there is nothing I hate more than leaving a celebration hungry.” —Araziel Jackson, Social Media Editor

Too Many Song Requests at the Reception

“When a wedding reception kicks off, it's tempting to put in a request for a song as soon as you hit the dance floor. However, many couples spend a lot of time working with their band or DJ to carefully curate their song list, and your go-to anthem may not make the cut. Instead of asking for your favorite song to be queued up, consider it an opportunity to rediscover a beloved throwback—or a new song that you'll have to add to your playlist when your own big day comes around.” —Ellen O’Brien, Editor

Guests Who Think They’re the Photographer During the Ceremony

“Like most people, I have to suppress an eye-roll whenever a wedding guest whips out their phone to document the moment the bride walks down the aisle. While it’s almost never the intention, snapping photos or recording a video often comes across as rude to the couple of the hour—they’re staring at a screen, not at the duo. Plus, chances are, the couple won’t want a lit-up screen to take up real estate in their professional wedding photos. This etiquette faux pas is also a disruption for the attendee, too: Viewing a beautiful moment through your device will prevent you from truly being present. Instead, put your phone down and give the couple your full attention throughout the service. Then, at the reception, feel free to capture a few pictures, as long as your device doesn’t get in the way.” —Lilly Blomquist, Associate Editor