How to Write the Best Bridesmaid Thank-You Card

The people who stand beside you on your wedding day are more than just part of your bridal party. They're also some of your closest friends and loved ones—and have likely been there for you through some of the best (and worst) moments of your life. In the months leading up to your wedding day, they may have flown across the country to make it to your bridal shower, put their heart and soul (and lungs) into a karaoke session at your bachelorette party, or discovered the perfect shoes to complement your dress. Regardless of their role in your big day, it's important to properly express your gratitude for all that they've done with a bridesmaid thank-you card.

Even though you've likely thanked your bridesmaids over and over (and over!) again, it's important to take the time to put pen to paper and handwrite a note. "Small gestures like that make a difference," says Jackie Vernon-Thompson, an etiquette expert and the CEO and founder of From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette. "Any length one goes to express gratitude is always appreciated."

However, even if you're committed to the assignment, writing multiple thank-you cards can feel overwhelming. How do you figure out the right thing to say? Or know how long the card should be? Should you give them the card in person or wait to mail it? Luckily, you don't need to search for the answers to these questions on your own—or spend days procrastinating this essential task. Here, we spoke to the experts on what you need to know so that you're able to complete all of your bridesmaid thank-you cards confidently.

Bridesmaid Thank-You Card Etiquette

There aren't any set-in-stone rules about how to handle your bridesmaid thank you-cards. However, there are some guiding principles that can be helpful to keep in mind when tackling this important item on your to-do list.

When Should You Send Bridesmaid Thank-You Cards?

Vernon-Thompson recommends giving your thank-you cards to your bridesmaids during your rehearsal dinner. Waiting until after your wedding to send out your notes of appreciation may be considered too late. If you do want to mail your bridesmaids an additional thank-you card after your nuptials, Vernon-Thompson considers that "icing on the cake." And remember that a thank-you card does not replace one for a wedding-day present; you should always mail a separate note thanking them for any gifts.

How Long Should Your Bridesmaid Thank-You Card Be?

It depends on your relationship with your bridesmaid. If this is someone you're extremely close with, your note may be a little longer; if it's a new-to-you friend or one of your partner's relatives, it may be a bit shorter. That's okay. "Be sure the note is from your heart and tailored according to the relationship level," Vernon-Thompson says.

Should You Thank Your Maid of Honor Differently?

Your maid of honor plays a significant role in your wedding—and your thank-you card to her should reflect that. "A maid of honor has more responsibilities than other bridesmaids," Vernon-Thompson says. For example, your maid of honor may organize your bridal shower, plan your bachelorette party, or just lend (a lot!) of emotional support. It's important to thank her for the role she plays in your big day with a larger gift and more in-depth thank-you card than what you would give your other bridesmaids.

Do You Need to Give Bridesmaid Thank-You Gifts?

Many brides opt to give thank-you gifts to their bridesmaids in addition to a thank-you card. While some may do this at the rehearsal dinner or on the morning of their wedding, know that mailing a gift is still an option. “It can be very nice to send a thank-you gift after the wedding," Harutyunyan says. "Make the gift specific and personal to each bridesmaid. They will truly cherish and appreciate the double impact of a gift and a heartfelt thank-you note from you.”

Keep in mind that if you opt to send your bridesmaids thank-you cards after your wedding, Vernon-Thompson advises mailing them separately from any thank-you gifts. "It's best to mail the thank-you card immediately, then follow with the gift a couple days later," she says.

Ways to Make Your Bridesmaid Thank-You Cards Special

A blank page can be exciting—or intimidating. Regardless of what you feel when you sit down to write, consider these tips to truly nail your bridesmaid thank-you cards. Here are some things to keep in mind to add a special touch to your messages of gratitude.

Show Your Appreciation

The entire point of thank-you cards for your bridesmaids is to express how grateful you are that each of these important women stood by your side on the big day. Showing your gratitude for their contributions—including the financial expenses they took on, the emotional support they gave you, and how much of their time they devoted to your wedding and related celebrations—is essential. For anyone who went above and beyond the typical call of bridesmaid duty, it's nice to recognize and call out the extra efforts they put in.

Include Photos

Want to make the thank-you cards particularly special and personalized? If you're waiting until you receive your wedding photos, include a couple of printed snapshots that they can keep and enjoy—group photos, pictures of just you two, or any candids from the reception are all wonderful keepsakes.

Make It Personal

While we understand how tempting it can be to create a form message that you can use for each member of your wedding party, avoid making your bridesmaid thank-you cards too generic. They've committed a great deal of time, energy, and money to your wedding, so it's important to show your appreciation with a personalized note. Stuck on what to write? Consider including a special memory or a funny moment from the planning process that you two shared.

“Explain why they are one of your closest friends—share your favorite memories with them; recall a moment at the wedding where you looked over and thought how great it was that she was one of your bridesmaids,” Harutyunyan suggests.

Write With Them in Mind

While this process can seem overwhelming, remember that these notes are to some of the most important people in your life. Write your thank-you note in the way you'd normally speak to them; there's no need to adopt a formal writing style just because you're putting pen to paper. “Be light-hearted, and even funny,” Harutyunyan says. “Be serious enough where you are thoughtful and affectionate but not too serious where it can come across as cold or harsh.”

Look Forward

Your note doesn't have to stay exclusively in the past. It's okay to also mention an upcoming event or experience that you're excited to share with them. "Maybe you're going to soon be a bridesmaid for them, so you can discuss how you're looking forward to being there for them like they were there for you," Harutyunyan says. "Maybe they're expecting a baby or buying a new home or getting a promotion at work.” Each of those milestones may be worth a mention.

Bridesmaid Thank-You Card Wording Examples

No two friendships are the same. Each bridesmaid's thank-you card you write will be unique to the recipient. However, if you’re looking for some inspiration to get started, we've got you covered. Below, we've compiled a few different thank-you card styles to consider.

Personal

Dear [Name], 

Thank you for making my big day extra special. I could not imagine saying ‘I do’ without my bestie by my side. We’ve come a long way since our high school field hockey team days, but you’ve always had my back when I need you the most. 

Love, 

[Your name]

Quirky 

To my partner in crime,

My wedding day would not have been complete without my favorite lady there. Thank you for everything you did to make it extra special—from holding my flowers to helping me go to the bathroom. You are a wonderful friend and an ace bridesmaid. 

Love, 

[Your name]

Touching 

Dear [Name], 

Believe me when I say that I am the luckiest bride in the world to have you as a bridesmaid. You made my big day everything I’d ever dreamed of. Thank you so much for being by my side in life and on my wedding day. 

Love, 

[Your name]

Modern 

Hey [Name], 

Thanks for being my bestie and making my wedding day a blast! Although I’m a married woman now, you’ll always be a VIP in my life. It wouldn’t have been the same without you!

Love ya, 

[Your name]