Cousin Tells Bride Family Can't Afford to Drop $1,000 Each to Attend Destination Wedding in Mexico—And Now They're Feuding Since She Won't Change Locations

Attending a wedding is usually an expensive undertaking—especially if the venue is in a far-off location. The amount of money that one bride’s family would have to pay to attend her destination wedding in Mexico was the cause of a tense argument among the bride and her cousin, according to a post on Reddit’s “Wedding” subreddit on September 30, 2024. When the bride’s cousin tried telling her that not many of their family members will attend the costly affair, the woman of honor was “upset,” so the OP asked the internet if she was being selfish. 

The Redditor began her post, noting that she and her cousins have a very close relationship since they’re all around the same age and live in close proximity to one another. The first cousin to get married—who is the OP’s closest relative—has her heart set on throwing a destination wedding in Mexico in November 2025. However, choosing this setting would mean that each family member would have to spend $1,000 on airfare and accommodations (an all-inclusive resort for three days) alone—without factoring in attire, gifts, or wedding-party duties.

Given the price, the OP said she and the rest of her family have reservations about attending the wedding. “A lot of them don't have the money/time to throw at a resort in Mexico for 3 days for a wedding, especially right before the holidays,” the Redditor explained. Even though the OP’s cousin is probably going to ask her to be her maid of honor, the woman is still unsure about the commitment. “Of course I'd like to be able to afford that no problem, but I literally can’t,” she expressed. “It would be so hard for me, and I can certainly try, but if my car breaks down or something the money would go toward that before a Mexico wedding.”

Although most of the bride’s relatives live near one another, a local wedding is out of the question for her. “She refuses to do her wedding in the state or close by to where any of our family is,” the OP expressed. “Just straight up refuses, will not hear any other logic, because ‘Mexico would be the most fun and the 20% of people that can't go aren't a good enough reason to keep the wedding in-state.’”

With these grievances in mind, the OP decided to tell her cousin that not many will show face if she plans a destination wedding in Mexico. “I pretty much said I see where she's coming from but she shouldn't be surprised if a lot of the family can't make it, and she's made a huge argument about wanting everyone around but nobody she wants is going to be able to be there if she makes it a destination wedding,” the Redditor recalled. “I felt guilty saying that, but it was the truth.” This comment caused the bride to get “upset” with her cousin, saying other people’s financial situations aren’t “her problem.” “It feels really insensitive since the basis of this whole thing is getting everyone together,” her cousin expressed.

Now, the OP is on the fence because she feels “obligated” to attend her cousin’s wedding even though it’s out of budget. “I also wouldn't want to miss her wedding, but that's so much to ask for,” she shared. Most of the internet told the Redditor that while she didn’t say anything rude (just truthful), she shouldn’t have spoken for any of her family members and doesn’t need to worry about her cousin’s attendance rate. “Don’t try to convince her otherwise by saying no one in the family will go…speak for yourself and don’t be pressured to do something you cannot reasonably afford,” a Redditor said. Another agreed, writing, “She chose Mexico knowing it would be expensive and inconvenient…There is nothing for you to ‘do’ here. You are not the one planning this wedding, and from the sound of it, you probably won’t be able to attend yourself.” So, they urged her to decline in a polite way.

A handful thought the bride’s cousin was being insensitive. “Unsolicited advice is criticism. Always,” another wrote. “If she asked you for your opinion, then you'd be NTA. However, you offered up that you think a lot of people from your side of the family won't make it most likely out of being upset that you cannot financially prioritize the trip and you're hoping she'll change the destination. YTA.” Some thought the bride was at fault. “It's very self centered to expect people to drop a grand-minimum- on your life milestone, IMHO,” another user wrote.