32 Funny Wedding Vows to Exchange During Your Ceremony

Whether you consider yourself a seasoned comedian or tense up every time someone asks you to tell a joke, adding a touch of humor to your nuptials can help light the mood—and ease any nerves you or your partner may be feeling. However, even if you're looking for funny wedding vows, consider that a little laughter goes a long way. A tiny bit of comedy can be helpful—but too much can easily verge on harmful or even hurtful.

When you're planning to incorporate some comedic relief into your wedding vows, remember the occasion, and, as a result, keep it light and simple. Make sure to stay aligned with the focus of the day: committing yourself to your partner in front of your loved ones. This isn't the time to workshop your Netflix comedy special. Additionally, if you do choose to incorporate some humor into your "I dos," avoid any inside jokes between you and your partner. The vow exchange is one of the most beautiful parts of a wedding, and you don't want your guests to miss out on your loving words. If you're not sure if a particular line will work or not, consider running it by a close friend or family member for feedback. (Because no one wants to be standing up at the altar to the sounds of crickets after a bad joke.) Ultimately, stay true to you and your partner and focus on the most important aspect of your nuptials: declaring your love for one another.

If you're looking for a bit of inspiration for your wedding vows—and struggling to find the right balance between the seriousness of moment and a desire to add some comedic flair, we've rounded up 32 quotes for you to consider as you craft your own words.

1. "Does this mean I have to stop referring to you by your last name?"
2. "I promise to love you, honor you, but not obey because that’s a little creepy.”
3. "This is a lot of pressure, huh, I better not blow this—I [NAME] take you...what’s your name again?"
4. "I vow to be your spell checker, grammar friend, and tell you when things need hyphens. I promise to be your partner in exercise, even if I am much faster than you, and most of all, I promise to try things, even though I am sure I will not like them, just because you say, 'Try this!'"
5. "We look pretty good. What is it we're all dressed up for?"
6. "I promise not to watch the next episode without you."
7. "I vow not to carry on watching a Netflix series we started together without you. Or at least pretend it’s the first time I’ve watched it when we watch it again."
8. "I promise that you will be as important to me as coffee, as chocolate, and as all the episodes of Grey’s put together."
9. "I promise not to force you to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon."
10. "I vow to love you even as you scan through all those movies without picking one to actually watch."
11. "I promise to love you through Ikea, be it during the buying or assembly of furniture procured therein."
12. "I promise not to turn the light on, open the curtains, or deliberately clatter about when you have a hangover."
13. "I vow not to keep score...I always win anyway."
14. "I promise to listen when you’re talking to me about sports, beer, or whatever you talk about, and not just look at my phone saying, 'Hmm, yes.'"
15. "I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair."
16. "I promise to share the covers, leave the light on, make sure the toilet paper is stocked, not use all the hot water, and do as many dishes as I can stomach, as long as we both shall live, so help me, God."
17. "I vow to nearly always notice when you’ve had your hair cut." 
18. "I promise to love and honor during the offseason."
19. "I vow to laugh, for real, at your every joke no matter how stupid or poorly told. I love you that much."
20. "I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving, however..."
21. "I promise to laugh at all your jokes, even when I'm the only one."
22. "I promise not to take the first sip of your drink before giving it to you."
23. “I promise to take Instagram-worthy pictures of you."
24. "I vow to open jars for you and pretend that you loosened it, even though we both know it was my muscles that opened that thing."
25. "I promise to find a tactful way to tell our guests we prefer cash over homeware."
26. "This ring is a symbol of how you’ve got me wrapped around your finger."
27. "I vow to stand by your side when the zombie apocalypse comes, and should you be turned into one, I promise to let you bite me, so I can too be one and, therefore, stay by your side forever."
28. "Just one thing to tell you—I am totally worth it."
29. "I promise to buy you takeout for dinner every night because I love you too much to allow you to fall victim to my cooking."
30. “I promise to comfort you when your football team loses… again."
31. "I promise to blame you when I flake on plans. Because I totally want to go!"
32. "Ditto."