Do Parents Still Pay for the Wedding? Here's How Much the Average Family Contributes

Even though modern couples are breaking wedding traditions left and right, there's one big-day convention that doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon: parents paying for a portion, or all, of their child's wedding. Though many couples do pay for some nuptial-related expenses today, a hefty chunk of the ceremony and reception is still being financed by one or both sides of the family.

So, how much does a parent typically pay when their children get married? According to data reported by Northwestern Mutual, a financial service firm, on average, parents contribute over 50 percent of their child's wedding budget. This statistic aligns with real-life data collected by wedding planner Tzo Ai Ang of Ang Weddings and Events, who shares that her client's parents pay for the bulk—and oftentimes all—of the expenses. "I do have some weddings that are paid for only by the couple, but that is the minority. The majority of the couples I work with, the parents are paying," she explains. Wedding planner Nancy Park of So Happi Together adds that "about 30 to 40 percent of our couples have parents contribute to the wedding day, and some pay for most or all of it."

Of course, this all depends on a parent's financial situation and the wedding's overall budget—and not every family has the means to pay for their child's big day. "Some parents still contribute to their child's wedding, especially in cultures or families where it's traditional or expected. Others might split the costs or leave it mainly to the couple, depending on everyone's financial situation and preferences," explains financial expert Bola Sokunbi, founder and CEO of Clever Girl Finance. "It's all about open communication and finding a plan that works for everyone involved, whether that's chipping in for major expenses, covering certain costs, or letting the couple handle it independently."

With all this in mind, if you're trying to decide on an amount you'd like to contribute to your child's big day, we asked the experts to help you land on a number that works best for your personal budget. Here's what you need to know.

Tips for Deciding How Much to Contribute to Your Child's Wedding

If following the rules of tradition, the bride's family is expected to bear the brunt of the wedding expenses, whereas the groom’s family traditionally pays for a smaller portion of the festivities. However, times have changed, and both sides of the family can contribute as much or as little as their personal budgets allow. To help you land on a number, here are the top three tips to follow when establishing a wedding financial plan.

Have a conversation with your child about their financial needs.

Have a direct heart-to-heart with your child and ask them this question outright: “How much financial help do you need for the wedding?" This will provide you with a clear understanding of how much support you'll need to provide, which will ultimately help you land on a number that works best for all. Additionally, you should also ask if their partner's parents plan to contribute to the wedding—allowing you to potentially split costs—or if you're expected to provide a bulk of the support. Be sure to have this conversation early on, as well. You don't want to be surprised by your child's monetary request once contracts have been signed and the venue has been booked.

Assess your current financial situation.

Once you have a clear idea of what needs to be paid for, the next step is to assess your personal finances and see what's realistic for you, budget-wise. Sokunbi notes that parents should "think about their own financial situation first, making sure they can contribute without causing any financial stress for themselves." While you may want to contribute the full amount your son or daughter requested, you might not be able to provide everything, and that's okay. What's most important is that you're honest with yourself about what you can feasibly do—and with your child, so they can appropriately adjust their overall budget if needed.

Avoid comparing yourself to other parents.

Try to avoid comparing your financial contribution to the contributions made by other parents (including the in-laws!), as the amount you decide on should never be swayed by another person's experience. "The average amount families contribute to a wedding can vary a lot. It depends on where you are (big cities tend to cost more), your family's traditions or cultural expectations, and how much everyone can afford," explains Sokunbi. "Higher-income families might pitch in more, while others might focus on specific parts of the wedding or contribute what they can. Things like divorce, remarriage, or being a single-parent household can also play a role in how much families chip in." Remember, your financial standing is different from your friend's or coworker's situation, so keep your mind focused on your budget and not on someone else's bank account.