How to Thoughtfully Give Money as a Wedding Gift, According to an Expert

Given the importance of wedding registries—with couples meticulously choosing items to fill their new marital homes—it can be hard to discern whether giving money as a wedding present is the right choice. Not to mention, older generations have long stressed the importance of tangible gifts over cash, as money has been seen as a faux pas over the years. But here's the reality: Etiquette experts agree that it's most certainly acceptable to give money as a wedding present, which is good news for couples and guests alike. Think about it: Writing a heartfelt card and adding some cash or a check requires a lot less effort than shopping for a traditional item, making things easier and straightforward for everyone involved.

Plus, couples receiving monetary presents are able to put their loved ones' generosity where it will go the furthest. “Every couple has different circumstances surrounding their events and in today’s uncertain climate, cash lends itself to having comfort and security for things that come up,” explains planner Elizabeth Priya Kumar, founder of Premini Events. “Whether it’s a new home, a baller honeymoon, or tackling leftover debt, this method of gifting benefits the couple in the way that they ultimately need it.” In fact, Kumar is used to tracking dozens of envelopes of cash at a wedding. Her clients are often hosting South Asian affairs, a wedding culture in which, she says, cash reigns supreme as a newlywed gift.

This is not to say you should just hand over a stack of money when attending your loved one's special day, however. “Getting creative and adding a layer of sentimental value is what will separate this everyday universal gift into being one that is personal and unique,” explains Kumar. Ultimately, guests should think about the way in which they give a monetary gift at a wedding, which is why we highlighted eight unique and thoughtful ways to do so. Read on for what you need to know below.

How Much Cash Should Wedding Guests Gift a Couple?

Standard etiquette rules state that guests should take their budget and relationship with the couple into consideration when giving a wedding gift. However, it's advised that guests spend around $100 to $150 on their contribution—this rule pertains to both cash and tangible wedding presents. That number can also increase to $150 to $250 if an individual is extremely close to the couple, if they have a sizable budget, or if they're bringing a plus-one. Of course, guests are always welcome to give more money if they're feeling extremely generous, but anything over $250 isn't expected.

8 Thoughtful Ways to Give a Monetary Gift as a Wedding Guest

Here, we highlight the top eight ways to thoughtfully give cash as a wedding gift.

Always Pair a Monetary Gift With a Card

Rather than stuffing straight cash into a standard envelope, Kumar advises adding a card with a personal note to make your gift stand out. “Giving cash can come across as a little impersonal,” she says. “Technically, every single guest attending can essentially give the same gift, making it redundant.” So, show that you care about the couple’s love story and how you support them with personal words, not just the ones printed on the inside of a greeting card. “When you add how you want to aid in their growth and mile markers, it becomes less about the cash and more about the love,” Kumar adds.

Go Though a Virtual Platform

Clutching an envelope with a hefty sum of cash and a drink isn’t the simplest maneuver during cocktail hour. (We’ve tried.) Instead, consider sending your cash gift virtually through any number of digital payment methods. You can schedule a payment to arrive in a couple’s account via Zelle on the wedding day or set a reminder on your calendar to hit send on Venmo. Paypal also works for gifting, and you can choose from their digital card designs to send along with the notification. 

Send Money as a Gift Card

Since you know that couples will be setting up their new life together, gift cards are a great way to let them pick out exactly what they want. Even if a couple has a registry, gift cards are helpful for purchasing smaller goods, such as a shower curtain, organizing bins, or recycling containers (items they may not necessarily add to a formal registry). But the best are gift cards from credit card companies, such as Visa and American Express; these can be used anywhere credit cards are taken for payment, giving the newlyweds the ultimate flexibility. Gift cards to specific stores can be great too, especially if a couple is a huge fan of the particular retailer. Just be sure the pair has a store nearby so they don’t have to pay extra shipping fees.

Another tip? Think beyond home goods and department stores. Consider a gift card to their favorite local restaurant for a post-wedding date night or a nearby spa for a day of relaxation after the craziness of the wedding. Or, think of retailers that support the couple’s biggest passions. If the couple is, say, outdoorsy, try a gift card to REI where they can stock up on gear.

Distribute Funds Over the Course of Time

Surprise! Cash gifts don't have to be one lump sum. Kumar is an advocate for creative ways to offer money at different points in time, and one way to do this is to attach the cash to a gift they must open at different milestones. She suggests vintage bottles of wine that are marked to be opened at the five, 10, and 15-year anniversaries. "Breaking it up to represent the years and pairing it with a reputable wine that the couple can open that day makes the toast all the more worthwhile,” she says. If waiting years seems long, you can make this idea into a more immediate gift: Place different bills at the start of each chapter of a book you’d recommend they read together. As they begin each chapter, they’ll accumulate cash and wisdom. 

Start a "Rainy Day" Fund

Gifting cash doesn’t have to come with the assumption that the couple can do anything they want with it; you can direct how you’d like the couple to use the money you just handed them. Kumar recommends putting the bills in a bottle and labeling it as a “rainy day fund.” It comes with the idea that the couple should hold onto it until a serious need arises. Then, the couple can break it open, should one person lose a job, a pipe burst in the house, or the world gets hit with a pandemic. “The act of having to break the bottle just to get the cash out provides another layer of reasoning: ‘Are we sure we really need this right now? Is this really an emergency,’” Kumar says. “A savings fund can really benefit in times of need.” In other words, they will really thank you.

Give to a Honeymoon, Pet, House, or Baby Fund

You’d be hard-pressed to find a couple that doesn’t make a honeymoon fund part of their registry. Whether they are heading to Africa or a road trip to an Airbnb, honeymoon costs stack up, so consider giving “cash” toward the couple’s big trip. Registry sites like Zola offer honeymoon funds as an option on the registry, and plenty of couples opt for the independent Honeyfund, which allows guests to give specific experiences, like skydiving or sunset sailing, that are part of their destination. 

A honeymoon fund isn’t the only way you can give cash to a couple’s larger goal, however. Today’s newlyweds create funds for all sorts of big purchases, such as a down payment on a house. (Let's face it, there’s no use for monogrammed towels if you don’t have a roof over your head!) But even if a couple owns their home, they still might host a home fund for things like renovations or hiring an architect. Puppy funds are another big one, as adopting a pet can come with a hefty price tag for healthcare, food, and other supplies—as is a general nest egg for future children and other life events. “People are thinking outside of the box and really digging into what their needs are versus their wants,” Kumar says. “Giving a couple the choice is the true form of love—it’s rooted in freedom.”

Donate to a Cause

The idea of donating to charity instead of handing the newlyweds a physical gift is becoming a more popular way of celebrating a couple’s nuptials; you can make your cash gift an in-kind donation to any number of nonprofits. Some couples make this straightforward by including charities they support on their registry. If they didn’t, here is a big tip: Instead of thinking of the causes you advocate for, think about the philanthropy of the to-be-weds. If they are big on animals, consider a donation to the ASPCA or local shelter. If they are all about world hunger, opt for a donation to World Central Kitchen or No Kid Hungry. For the arts, try a museum, ballet company, or philharmonic orchestra. And if either member is a board member or volunteer with an organization, they’ll sincerely appreciate what you give to that nonprofit’s annual fund. 

Transfer Stocks and Bonds

Paper money comes in more forms than dollar bills, and guests can consider giving stock and bonds. Kumar says she typically sees this among immediate family members, with older generations opting to give stocks and other investment properties to newlyweds. “Participating in this kind of gesture is meant to create generational wealth for legacies to come,” Kumar says. Companies like Vanguard allow you to transfer mutual bonds to any recipient with a Vanguard account. Plus, anyone can give a savings bond as a way to support this idea of creating wealth. Savings bonds are issued by the U.S. Treasury Department and paid back with interest when the bond matures—meaning your gift gains value over time.