How to Host the Ultimate Lingerie Shower

Between engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachelorette bashes, there are tons of events dedicated to celebrating the forthcoming wedding of a bride-to-be. However, none are as fun—or cheeky—as a lingerie shower. This special affair is meant to "shower" the guest of honor with laughter and love, all while providing her with flirty intimates and sleepwear for the wedding night, honeymoon, and beyond. Not to mention, it's the perfect event for brides who love unique and entertaining experiences.

But before you start sending out invitations, there are a few key things to know about hosting this fête. (This is an intimate gathering in more ways than one, so following proper etiquette ensures guests and the bride don't feel uncomfortable.) That's why we consulted with party planning expert Maggie Rester to dish out everything you need to know when organizing a lingerie shower. Read on for more.

Everything You Need to Know About Planning a Lingerie Shower

The key to hosting a perfect party is excellent planning and organization—so be sure to follow the below guide to throw an unforgettable lingerie shower.

The Host

As with most bridal-related events, the maid of honor is usually the designated host for this affair. If the maid of honor is unable to organize this fête, however, a bridesmaid, or another close friend, should take charge of this celebration. Ultimately, the party planner should be the "Samantha" of the group: Someone who knows how to throw a good party, can break the ice, and can make everyone feel comfortable.

The Guest List

The guest list should only consist of the bride's nearest and dearest. So, as the host, avoid reaching out to future in-laws and distant cousins before getting final approval from the bride-to-be. Additionally, be sure to keep the guest list small, as the soon-to-be-wed will be opening up a lot of sexy unmentionables (and possibly even more erotic items, like sex toys), which is something she may not want to do in front of a large crowd.

The Timing

When deciding on the best date to host this sexy affair, determine if it makes sense to combine this risqué celebration with the bachelorette party. “Bachelorette parties are the best fit for lingerie showers because they’re already known as the last hoorah or wild get-together for the bride’s closest friends,” says Rester. If you and the bride decide on having a separate gathering, however, the lingerie shower should be one of the last parties thrown. Also, consider the time of day, as that will dictate whether you host a boozy brunch or a classy evening affair with cocktails and finger foods.

The Location

If the lingerie party isn’t during the bachelorette, it should take place in a private location, like someone’s home. Avoid crowded restaurants or event spaces where you might receive leering looks from curious patrons and waitstaff. “I wouldn’t recommend having a lingerie shower somewhere public because the bride might be opening things like sex toys, and then you have to hold onto everything that night after going to dinner,” says Rester.

On the other hand, if you’re having the lingerie shower during a bachelorette bash, the best thing to do is treat it like a house party. “I definitely recommend doing it at the Airbnb or hotel during the bachelorette party on a night where there’s some downtime,” advises Rester.

The Invitations

Send invitations at least a month before the shower, making sure to include all important information like sizing, gift guides, the bride's preferences, and the theme, if any. If the event is separate from the bachelorette party, include an RSVP date, as well. “Sending out invites is great because then you can include specifics on what the bride likes and her sizes,” says Rester. “You can also give ideas on what to get her in terms of color palettes or whatever she might like in order for the bride-to-be to really get the most use out of her gifts.”

Don't want to send invites? Just be sure to communicate the bride’s sizes to the group well in advance. Include bra sizes, as well as panty and pajama measurements. (Remember this: Guessing the bride’s size might cause offense, and returning or exchanging items is not something you want to add to a bride’s to-do list.)

Additional Lingerie Shower Planning Tips

Here are five additional tips to know when planning a lingerie shower for your best friend.

Choose a theme to spruce up the event.

While you don’t need to have a theme, it could certainly make things more fun. Choose something that fits the bride’s personality, whether that’s a color or fabric, like pink or lace, or a more general vibe, like a Parisian boudoir.

Create a registry for guests.

Though registries aren't necessary, working with the bride-to-be to create one will help guests purchase items that the soon-to-be-wed will actually wear. Include the registry details on the invite so everyone is fully aware of what to buy before attending this intimate celebration.

Plan a few games.

One of the most common lingerie shower games is having the bride guess which guest gave her what gift. You can also play lingerie shower bingo or have all guests write down their best bedroom tip and include it with their gift.

Don't forget to provide drinks and snacks.

“Lingerie showers are more fun after people have been drinking a little bit because sometimes it can get awkward,” says Rester. “I recommend having some Champagne, and doing a toast before and after.” If you’re going to be pouring up the drinks, though, don’t forget about the food. Stick to the theme, if you have one, but at the very least, serve finger foods like veggie trays, chips and dips, mini quiches, fruit trays, and other desserts.

Consider giving guests a party favor.

This is by no means necessary, but it might be a nice gesture to surprise guests with party favors. Gift a pair of panties, alongside a mini bottle of Champagne and some chocolates, to thank them for coming.