What Should the Mother of the Bride Wear to a Wedding?

Once upon a time, mothers of the bride were expected to wear matronly dresses in Easter egg pastels or washed-out shades of beige. Thankfully, that's in the past, and moms are now able to freely express their sartorial sensibilities on their child's big day. But with more freedom comes a little more confusion, and determining what the mother of the bride should wear can oftentimes get a bit overwhelming. Plus, with so many designers dedicating their collections to mother-of-the-bride fashion, finding a look you love can get semi-complicated given all the options available today.

Not to worry, though, as we asked a fashion expert to provide a few pointers for making this process as seamless as possible. Here, we've got the who, what, when, where, and how of mother-of-the-bride attire. Read on below for all the expert tips—and don't forget to take notes!

How to Select the Perfect Mother-of-the-Bride Look

If you take away only one tip, let it be this one: Follow the bride's cues about style, color, and degree of formality. It's the couple's job to set the tone for the event—whether that means a casual country wedding complete with cowboy boots or a formal black-tie affair—and your job as the mother of the bride to follow suit. After that, the rest lies in the details, as highlighted below.

Know the Dress Code—And Find a Look That Perfectly Aligns

The dress code your child sets will be the determining factor of what you can and cannot wear on the big day. More specifically, if your daughter is hosting a black-tie or formal wedding, be sure to select a floor-length gown that you'd feel comfortable wearing throughout the night and day. Cocktail and semi-formal directives, on the other hand, call for tea-length and midi looks. Is your child hosting a causal affair? A flowy maxi dress would work just fine for this level of formality.

Don't forget to accessorize, too! A diamond tennis necklace, a colorful clutch, and a standout pair of heels can take your outfit from simple to extraordinary. When in doubt, however, always stick to one or two accessories to avoid looking over the top. For instance, a diamond bracelet, drop earrings, and metallic clutch would be a striking choice for someone wearing a black-tie gown. Or, consider sporting floral-print wedges and classic, diamond stud earrings when styling a casual mother-of-the-bride look.

Take Cues From the Venue

Aside from the dress code, it's important to also follow certain cues dictated by the venue. Think about it: You wouldn't want to wear a formal gown to a seaside ceremony, or a casual sundress to a traditional church wedding. Plus, not only will the venue help you decide on what dress to wear, but it'll also dictate what shoes you should buy to style your outfit. Steer clear of stiletto heels if your child is hosting their celebration on grass or sand, for example, and, instead, opt for wedges or flats depending on the dress code and style of your ensemble.

Consider Hiring a Stylist

If shopping isn't your greatest strength, it may be helpful to find someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to your day-of attire. This can look like hiring a wedding stylist, or visiting your favorite department store and asking for one of their in-house members to help you find an ensemble. Stylists are seasoned professionals whose job it is to help their clients look and feel good, so there's no harm in finding one if your budget allows—or if you truly need guidance on what to wear.

What Color Should the Mother of the Bride Wear?

Traditionally, the mother of the bride's gown should complement (but not match) the color of the wedding party's attire. That's why fashion expert Shea Jensen shares that mothers of the bride should wait until their daughters have chosen their bridesmaids' dresses before heading to the mall. For instance, if the bridal party is wearing black cocktail dresses, as the mom, you might want to choose something in silver or grey. Or, if the bridesmaids are wearing cobalt blue, a navy dress would pair perfectly.

This isn't a hard and fast rule, however—especially if the bridesmaids are wearing white, as light hues should be avoided at all costs. Ultimately, the color you choose to wear should be a hue that works best for your skin tone and a shade your child is okay with you wearing (the dress code and season will also play a huge factor in this decision). So, if your child hosting a black-tie soirée with a gold and black palette, a black dress with subtle gold detailing would be perfect for you to select. Need a look for a casual backyard wedding with garden vibes? A floral-printed maxi, in shades of green, yellow, and blue, is a lovely option to consider for this style of event.

Additional Mother-of-the-Bride Style Tips to Know

Need more advice? Here are two additional tips to keep in mind when shopping for your child's wedding day.

Don't Forget About Your Glam

While there aren't any special rules for mother-of-the-bride glam, moms should try and stick with a look that is elegant, understated, and appropriate. As for where to get ready, if the bride prefers to get glammed up with just the bridesmaids, don't get offended. You can always invite the mother of the groom or other family members to get glammed up before the ceremony, or relish the rare moment of quiet and plan to slip off on your own. Just make sure you actually plan to get your hair and makeup done—whether by a professional or trusted friend. Too often, mothers overlook themselves in favor of their children. Remember, it's your special day, too.

Always Take Your Child's Feedback Into Consideration

If your daughter doesn't like your dress, or would prefer you to wear a different silhouette or color, do your best to take her feedback into consideration. This doesn't mean you're required to sport something you don't feel comfortable wearing. But, it is important to have an honest and open conversation about your look if you and your child have opposing views about your fashion choice.