How to Create an Online Dating Profile That'll Lead to Marriage, According to Experts

The details of a wedding—from the engagement ring to the honeymoon hotel—can be thrilling to plan (and even more exciting to experience), but they all can't happen without one important reality: Meeting your lifelong partner. In this day and age, however, it can be hard to find the person you want to marry, let alone simply find a date. Is it impossible? No. But today's dating landscape is a lot different—and more difficult—than it was when your parents or grandparents were growing up, particularly since many individuals are choosing to get married later in life or opting to forgo marriage altogether. So what can a person do to potentially find "the one?" Enter: Online dating.

Online dating apps and websites offer an easy way to meet a variety of potential partners you may have otherwise missed in person. Before downloading Hinge, Bumble, or Tinder (or any other platform), however, there are a few things to know in order to effectively use this dating tool. That's why we asked three matchmaking and relationship experts to weigh in on how to create a profile that'll lead to marriage, including how to present yourself in your bio, how to choose the right photos, and how to manage a profile to find your meant-to-be mate. 

How to Create an Online Dating Profile the Right Way

Have you decided that you're ready to start online dating? Here, the experts highlight the do's and don'ts of what to include—and not include—on your profile.

Check the "Long-Term Relationship" Box

While online dating experts suggest steering clear of mentioning marriage in your bio—save this for an in-person conversation after your first few dates—you should be clear about your desire for a long-term relationship. “Most people are so afraid of rejection that they play it too cool on their dating profile,” says dating coach Damona Hoffman. “I find that stating a goal of a long-term relationship is important from the beginning and expressing a desire for marriage should happen in the first few dates. Then it’s not a rejection if someone doesn’t want that, it’s a mismatch of intentions and it’s better not to waste your time with the wrong person.”

Be Mindful of the Photos You Post

A picture is worth a thousand words, and collating the right collection of images for your dating profile is an essential part of the process. “Prioritize your personality and highlight pictures where you feel the most like yourself,” says relationship expert Wale Okerayi, LMHC, LPC. Your first photo should always be a color image of you looking straight at the camera and smiling; follow it up with a full-body photo, adds Agape Matchmaking CEO Maria Avgitidis. Then, use the rest of the reel as an opportunity to highlight your favorite activities. “The remaining photos should show you hopefully out and about,” explains Avgitidis. “Here you are golfing, here you are playing pickleball, here you are at a museum—anything that shows you go out of the house. If there’s a photo of you absolutely enjoying yourself, you should absolutely put that up.”

Avgitidis does warn profile builders against several common photo mistakes, however. The first? Including photos with their female friends. “It’s a phenomenon: The moment you post a photo with your girlfriend, she’s somehow hotter than you. Men assume you have friends—they don’t need to see photos of your friends,” she says. In her experience, men also immediately skip over profiles that feature business headshots—”There’s nothing feminine about it,” she says—and photos of you as a bridesmaid, which read as “too serious.”

Keep Your Bio Playful

A successful bio is fun and inviting. “Though clarifying goals is important, it’s equally important to hit the right tone in your profile,” advises Hoffman. “I encourage clients to keep the profile light and engaging. Use my 3Cs—color, context, and character—to strategically stand out, tell your story, and inspire people to connect with you.”

Be sure to also take advantage of prompts suggested by the dating app to create personality-filled bios that offer details about your interests, hobbies, family, and work. “What I want in your profile is things that tell us a little bit more about you and how you spend your downtime,” says Avgitidis. For example, a prompt about how you spend your weekends might mention your weekly Pilates class, FaceTime with your sister who lives in Europe, and a few hours at the dog park. 

Avgitidis further likes the option of sharing two truths and a lie. “[People] love games and challenges,” she says. “It can be a really powerful tool to get people to message you to figure out which is the lie.” Keep your lie lighthearted, though, like claiming you’ve shared an elevator with your favorite male celebrity. “It could be true, in the sense that you would love it if that happened, but it also tells people the kind of guy you’re looking for,” she adds.

Ask ChatGPT for Help

If your profile doesn’t have prompts that feel like a good fit, don’t hesitate to ask AI for assistance, notes Avgitidis. “Feel free to use Chat GPT to help you,” she says. “It’s okay to cheat here.” Phrase a request similar to: “Ask me some questions to help me write a bio that makes it seem like I would be a great first date,” recommends Avgitidis, and use those questions to brainstorm ideas about what to include before injecting your own personal writing style.

Avoid Mentioning Your Dealbreakers

You might have a vision for your future relationship that feels set in stone now—maybe you need a partner who plays tennis, who wants to live in the city, or who loves cats (not dogs)—but these dealbreakers don’t belong in your dating profile. “The profile is just the magnet to bring matches to you—most of the filtering happens after you match,” says Hoffman. “It’s an invitation bringing folks in, not a bouncer or doorman keeping folks out.” As you develop a long-term relationship and move into the future with your partner, any (or all) of those dealbreakers could change: You could prefer sailing together to tennis, you could appreciate the peace of a rural home, you could learn to adore his dog. “Absolutes do not belong in dating,” shares Avgitidis. “You should not have anything negative in your prompts, you shouldn’t have ‘No’.”

How to Properly Manage Your Online Dating Profile

Now that you've created your profile the right way, here's how to effectively manage it for a positive experience.

Don't Spend All Your Time on Your Account

Constant notifications and check-ins are the quickest way to get tired of—and frustrated with—the process. “Time is of the essence in responding to matches and messages, but too many notifications will overwhelm your nervous system and burn you out on dating apps,” says Hoffman. Okerayi recommends setting clear boundaries for yourself on when and how often you check your matches; Avgitidis says you should limit your daily time to 30 minutes or less on the app. 

Match Thoughtfully

While the point of an online dating profile is to meet a wide variety of new people, try to “match with intention,” says Okerayi. “Always prioritize your goals and be patient and intentional with every interaction, and read each profile thoroughly and carefully to ensure a good fit,” she says. Avoid matches who are clear about looking for low-stakes relationships, as well. “If [they have] filled out that [they're] only looking for casual, you're not interested,” says Avgitidis. “If [they don't] have it filled out, you should still go on a date with [them]—a lot of [people] don’t fill that out because they don’t want to seem desperate.”

Be Bold and Make the First Move

Modern dating rules don’t specify who should reach out first. “But if women want to go on a date, they have to actually get that date immediately,” says Avgitidis. “If you're messaging a guy, within those first three messages, you have to say stuff like, ‘You seem cool, let's meet in real life, here's a time and place.’ Men love it and it makes it just so much easier.”

Keep Track of Your Experience

As you create and tweak your profile, meet matches, and go on dates, make sure you track your successes (and not-so-successful experiences), says Hoffman. “Take note of which primary photo gets you the most quality matches, journal after your dates to record your initial impressions and try different apps to take note of the quality of matches on each,” she says. “Quality is way more important than quantity.”

Avoid Thinking Beyond the First Date

Even if your long-term vision includes marriage, your dating profile should be more about the short-term. “Dating apps are just a tool—they're a tool to meet new people,” says Avgitidis. “It is not the place to be thinking about, ‘How can I look like I'm marriage material?’ It should be the place where you think, ‘How can I look like I would be a fun person to go on a first date with?’” And once you’re on that first date, keep your mind on the present—not the future. “No one's thinking about marriage on a first date—that's weird,” she says. “The purpose of a first date is to go on a second date, it's not to figure out if you can marry this person.”