Bride Disinvites "Opinionated" Parents From Wedding After Demanding She Make Costly Decisions Behind Fiancé’s Back

Trying to figure out who’s covering which wedding costs can be a contentious topic in many families. Although one pair of to-be-weds decided to fund their entire affair, the bride’s parents thought their daughter should have a larger say in the planning process since she has her higher salary than her partner despite the fact that the couple has joint finances. The disagreement escalated so much that the bride ultimately removed her parents from her wedding guest list.

The 23-year-old female wrote on Reddit’s “Am I the A------“ on October 16, 2024, that she and her fiancé, a 23-year-old male, combined all of their finances—even though she makes $300,000 a year and he makes $100,000. “So I don’t consider it to be my income or his income,” the bride noted. “It’s purely OUR income. Completely joint finances. This was important to both of us to do and we talked about it at length before doing it. He is comfortable with the fact that I make more right now and it helps us afford OUR lifestyle choices together.”

The couple is tying the knot next year, and they’ve decided to pay for the affair themselves. Even though the two are pulling from their shared bank account to fund their nuptials, the bride’s parents believe their daughter’s opinions matter more because she makes triple the amount of money that her fiancé does—therefore, she’s technically footing most of the bill. 

For instance, they’ve suggested that the couple host an affair with “a massive guest count,” an open bar, and other costly details that exceed their budget. “Those expenses are big NOs from the fiancé though due to the money or it,” she stated. Although the bride thinks some of these ideas “sound fun,” they aren’t a huge priority for her, so she is fine with passing on them.

Since their daughter has shown a bit of interest in some of their proposals, the bride’s parents are trying to convince her to go against her fiancé’s wishes. “My parents are saying that I should just do all of these things and pay for them myself without telling him because he wouldn’t even notice by the time the big day comes around,” she continued. “I obviously told them no and that it was disrespectful to my fiancé bc it’s our money. Not mine. And they keep going on about the fact that he doesn’t make as much as me and that he shouldn’t get opinions.” As a result of this disagreement, she hasn’t spoken to her parents in two weeks, and she’s even decided to remove them from her wedding guest list.

After looking to Reddit for advice, the internet decided that the OP’s parents are at fault for trying to divide the couple. “It’s not that they asked about an open bar, it’s that they are asking you to go behind your fiancés back,” someone pointed out. Many thought her parents are acting selfishly. “Your parents are demanding you use your money to pay for the wedding they want,” another wrote. Although fellow Redditors agreed that her parents’ suggestions aren’t innocent, many noted that the bride should discuss these issues with her parents and set a boundary, so disinviting them from the wedding should be the last resort. “You need to sit them down for the serious conversation,” another recommended. “Lay it out. Help them understand.”

For that reason, many discouraged the OP from disinviting her parents. While some Redditors claimed that it is the bride’s day, kicking her parents off of the guest list would be too drastic of a measure in their eyes. “You are only 23 and the rest of your life will be a long time,” a Redditor stated. “I would hate for you to do anything rash right now that you might end up regretting when you are older; don't do something that will irrevocably damage your relationship with your parents unless it is your last resort and you have fully exhausted all other ways to trying to communicate over this.”