The History and Meaning of Proposing on One Knee

If you're someone who wants to get married, you've likely envisioned your own proposal for as long as you can remember. You may have also spent time dreaming about the specific details of your engagement, like the design of your ring and the way your partner ultimately pops the question. Another element many individuals desire when getting engaged? Watching their partner get down on one knee to ask "Will you marry me?"

However, have you ever asked yourself why men (and women) kneel when proposing? According to proposal planner Marvin Velazquez, getting down on one knee is a "time-honored tradition that's been around a long time. It also shows a lot of respect to your partner that you're asking for their hand in marriage by doing so in a very kind and traditional way." Sounds straightforward, right? But do you have to follow this custom for your proposal to be official? What should someone do if they don't want to get down on bended knee?

Here, with the help of Velazquez, we share the history and meaning of proposing on one knee. Plus, we highlight a few alternatives to consider if this tradition isn't for you. Read on for more.

The History and Meaning of Proposing on One Knee

The tradition of a man (or woman) proposing on one knee comes from medieval knights bowing before noblewomen as a show of respect. That said, this common gesture, accompanied by the question “Will you marry me?”, is a somewhat recent phenomenon.

Historically, marriage proposals were more like business negotiations between family representatives; romance just wasn’t a part of the picture. But as marriages evolved to be more about love connections, the way a person proposed also became more significant. This shift led to the practice of popping the question on bended knee to show respect and admiration for one's partner.

Alternatives to Proposing on One Knee

Proposing on one knee isn't required to make an engagement official, but it is recommended if you're planning to pop the question. "We've never experienced a person that was proposed to that didn't want their partner to get down on bended knee, so that should say a lot," shares Velazquez.

Nonetheless, there might be reasons why you or your partner decide to forgo this tradition, which is perfectly okay and a personal choice. "We have some clients not get on bended knee for one reason or another. They usually have to do with their physical ability or the proposal idea, such as if they have an injury or maybe they're proposing while seated inside a helicopter," explains Velazquez. Additionally, some couples opt to skip this practice in favor of a more egalitarian approach to getting engaged, like having both partners propose at the same time.

So what are some alternative options to popping the question on one knee? "If someone wants to propose without getting down on one knee, some alternatives are standing while displaying the ring in front of you but having some set up behind you (such as a 'marry me' sign) or maybe friends and family," Velazquez shares. "Another option is having the ring hidden somewhere so that your partner can find it and you simply place it on their finger without having to get on one knee." You can also plan a low-key proposal, complete with breakfast, garden blooms, and a poem, then hand your partner their engagement ring during this romantic moment. Ultimately, the best proposals—bended knee or not—are meant to be authentic, genuine, and truly special for all parties involved.