The Top Bridal Shower Gift Etiquette Questions, Answered

Traditional etiquette states that if you receive an invitation to a wedding and choose to attend, it's customary that you send the couple a gift. But do the same rules apply to other wedding-related events? Between engagement parties, bachelorette fêtes, rehearsal dinners, and more, there are countless celebrations dedicated to those getting married, and, frankly, it can be hard to sort out when you're supposed to give a gift—and when you can skip. Chief among them being bridal showers; a party dedicated to showering the bride with love before the big day, many individuals are unsure of the gifting etiquette surrounding this celebration. Is cash acceptable? Do you have to adhere to the registry? Should guests send a gift if they can't attend the event?

Here's some good news: If you're searching for clarity to all your bridal shower gift etiquette questions, we have all the answers you need! Here, national etiquette expert Diane Gottsman shares everything you need to know, from how much to spend to what style of gift you should choose.

Are guests required to give a bridal shower gift?

Yes, it's always advised that you give a gift when attending a bridal shower. "Showing up to the shower without a gift will feel somewhat awkward," Gottsman says. That being said, if you want to get a single, bigger present and give it as your wedding gift, Gottsman suggests that you still bring something small like a bottle of wine and a card to the shower. "Explain to the bride in advance that you are doing one big gift if that is your choice," she adds.

How much should you spend on a bridal shower gift?

How much you spend on a bridal shower gift is really a personal choice, as there's no required amount. "This is why a registry is helpful because you can find great ideas with different price points that are keeping within your financial situation," Gottsman says. However, on average, guests typically spend between $50 to $100, depending on their relationship with the bride. This, of course, isn't a hard and fast rule, and you can certainly spend more or less based on your budget. But something everyone should do, at the very least, is provide the bride with a card sharing how excited they are for her upcoming wedding.

What type of gift should you buy for a bridal shower?

Bridal shower gifts are typically smaller and more modest than wedding gifts, and the present you choose should be dictated by what the bride needs via the registry. "Each couple has their own particular needs and requests," says Gottsman. "A registry is the basic indicator of what you should buy." If there isn't a registry provided, however, check with the hostess to see where you should be shopping. Common bridal shower gifts include kitchenware, from small appliances or utensils to towels or dishes.

Does the bridal shower you're attending have a specific theme? Align your gift with the theme, especially if that has been requested by the host. For instance, a cooking class shower might favor a gift of your favorite cookbook, while the hostesses of a lingerie shower will ask for, well, lingerie. Pay attention to the event’s theme, and align your gift accordingly.

Do you have to buy a bridal shower gift if you can't attend the event?

Guests aren't required to send a gift if they can't attend the bridal shower—but it is a nice gesture to consider, especially if you're close to the bride. "It's not obligatory to buy a gift if you can't attend the shower, but it's a nice gesture if you are close to the bride," Gottsman further explains. Meaning, you might want to mail your best friend or co-worker something from their registry as a way to mark the special occasion. Be sure to do this in advance, though, so that your present can be added to the gift table and opened along with the other presents toward the end of the shower.

Another tip? If opting to send a beautiful bouquet or a nice bottle of the bride's favorite wine, champagne, or liquor, be sure to arrange for a delivery on the day of, or have one of the attendees coordinate with you to pick up a package or sign for the delivery. You can even add in a nice vase or a bespoke bottle opener for an extra touch of class.

Is cash an acceptable bridal shower gift?

As with most wedding-related gifts, cash is an acceptable gift for a bridal shower—though you should "make sure you put it in a beautiful card," advises Gottsman. That said, only give money if it's a gift you know the bride will want and appreciate. Sometimes, buying something off the registry (or donating to a specific cash fund) is better than gifting a card with money inside.

Do you need to buy multiple gifts if the bride is planning multiple showers?

No, you do not have to buy multiple gifts for the same bride if she's having multiple showers. One gift to one of the showers is all that is necessary. Of course, you can always buy multiple gifts if that's what you prefer—but that choice is for you to make on your own.