12 Love Tips That Will Help You Build a Stronger Relationship

Put these rules into practice to develop a long-lasting bond.

Woman and Man Looking into Each Other’s Eyes and Embracing

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Whether you’ve been dating your partner for a few months or a few decades, there’s nothing more exhilarating than falling in love—from the butterflies in your stomach to the dream-like state you walk through life in, this phenomenon is truly a magical experience. As time passes and the two of you get complacent in your union or bogged down by your routine, however, you might notice that the novelty, excitement, and passion that were alive and well in the initial stages of your partnership have started to fade. 

Although this experience is common (and completely normal), it doesn’t mean the flame in your relationship is destined to dwindle. Luckily, there are steps you can take to strengthen your connection and fall even more deeply in love with one another—even if you’ve been together for years. "I absolutely believe you can deepen love at any stage of a relationship," says psychotherapist and relationship expert Jacqueline Schatz. "Love can deepen and become richer over time." All it takes is a little bit of work on your part, but it’s completely possible to restore the fairy-tale-worthy romance you once had.

Meet the Expert

  • Jacqueline Schatz, MA, EdM, LMFT, is a psychotherapist and relationship expert who works with couples and individuals in New York City and North Carolina.
  • Megan Weks is a certified dating and relationship coach and the owner of The Manfunnel, which provides services to help women around the world successfully find love.
  • Chelsa Watkins-Jordan is a licensed clinical social worker in Georgia who has over a decade of counseling experience.

If you’re wondering how to create a connection that rivals the first time you fell in love, we asked psychologists and relationship coaches to share their secrets. Ahead, 12 love tips that will create a healthy, long-lasting bond—no matter what stage you’re in.

Appreciate Everyday Moments

You don't need to make a grand romantic gesture or plan an extravagant vacation to keep your relationship alive. The everyday moments that may seem simple or predictable present endless opportunities to strengthen your relationship. What elevates your connection is approaching these moments with mindfulness and intentionality, rather than simply going through the motions. For example, talking to each other over breakfast every morning or asking about one another's days while cooking dinner together every night will have a big impact on your bond. By enjoying the little things with your partner, you make them a constant part of your daily life. "If you've made a choice to put your lives together, to share a life together, that means you aren't two separate selves, and you will grow closer," Schatz shares.

Overcome Challenges Together

Overcoming challenges together is a love tip that's guaranteed to strengthen your bond. Although going through a difficult situation doesn't necessarily feel good, you'll come out on the other end stronger if you rely on one another. If you're working through something challenging as a unit, such as trying to have a baby or attempting to tackle your debt, approach it as a team. If you're dealing with a personal matter, whether it's an autocratic boss or an overbearing parent, lean on your partner for support. "Any challenges that come up, being able to support each other through them will deepen your love," Schatz explains. "Even if the outcome of the challenge isn’t successful, the love can be successful."

Man and Woman Sitting on Hill in Front of Tent Overlooking Mountains While Pouring Water from Canteen

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Go on Adventures

When every day starts to follow a similar schedule of work, household chores, and possibly childcare, life can feel monotonous and your relationship can easily fall into a rut. According to Megan Weks, a certified dating and relationship coach, getting out of your comfort zone by going on adventures together can bring excitement back into your life and union. "By introducing your relationship to new and thrilling environments, where you might experience a flutter of fear or excitement, the relationship itself can feel as vibrant and refreshing as these adventures," Weks says. Maybe that looks like soaring through the sky in a hot air balloon or traveling to an exotic island. The shared experience will bring you closer and help you learn something new about your significant other.

Relive the Experiences That Helped You Fall in Love

If you've been dating or married for a long time, one love tip Schatz advises is recalling all of the activities and experiences that contributed to the two of you falling in love. Then, repeat them regularly. "You don't want to lose sight of those things," she says. "You want to remember them and infuse your relationship with them." Having dates at the winery, restaurant, or beach where you first started developing feelings for one another will help you relive those dreamy moments and emotions, taking your relationship to a deeper level.

Spend Time Doing Things You Both Enjoy

A key love tip that will undoubtedly augment your connection is partaking in shared experiences that are enjoyable for both of you. Perhaps the two of you relish going on a run, exploring museums, or attending concerts together. "It really doesn't matter what the activity is as long as it's something you both enjoy, and in doing that activity, that shared positive experience helps you deepen your love," Schatz points out. Whatever it is, make sure to incorporate the activity into your daily routine.

Couple Sitting on the Couch and Looking at One Another

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Have Honest Conversations

Communicating with one another—especially when it's authentic, open, and vulnerable—is one of the best love tips for promoting emotional intimacy. “Having healthy communication in relationships helps each person feel heard, seen, understood, and valued,” says licensed clinical social worker Chelsa Watkins-Jordan. Get into the habit of checking in on your partner, whether it's asking them about their day before bed or shooting them a text at work, and make sure to regularly fill them in on your thoughts, feelings, challenges, and accomplishments, too.

Work on Yourself

In order to have a successful, loving relationship, you must develop self-acceptance and self-confidence. Looking to your partner to solve your problems or fix your insecurities will only bring more baggage into the relationship. While you might not ever be 100 percent happy with who you are, loving yourself will make you more open to giving and receiving love, Schatz says. "Working on yourself makes you more available for love," she remarks. "If you are really working on knowing yourself and knowing what you need and who you are, the easier it is to love someone."

Woman Putting Arm Around Man While Talking to Therapist

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Try Couples Therapy

Even those in the healthiest, most committed relationships go through rough patches. Since setbacks are inevitable in every partnership, what defines (and helps strengthen) your relationship is how you respond to them. Ignoring the issue will only create more tension and conflict, presenting a barrier to love and connection. If the problem is ongoing and pervasive, navigating it with a professional through couples therapy will help salvage your bond.

Put Away Your Devices

Many of us spend so much time on our phones that we forget to look at the person in front of us. Since deepening your relationship requires quality time and presence, technological devices are a huge interference. One must-know love tip is stashing your devices in another room or putting them on silent and in your pocket when you're in one another's presence. Looking at your partner and really focusing on what they're saying will signal that you're invested, a surefire way to boost your bond.

Affirm Your Commitment to One Another

Creating a meaningful connection requires commitment. Even if the two of you vowed to spend the rest of your lives together during your wedding ceremony, it's important to continue to affirm that commitment as much as possible. Make an effort to remind your partner that you'll always be there for them. This will create a sense of security and closeness that will help your love flourish.

Couple Looking into One Another's Eyes and Leaning on Kitchen Counter

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Compliment Their Admirable Qualities

Another love tip that will bring your relationship to the next level is vocalizing the qualities that you admire and appreciate most about your partner. Maybe your significant other is an excellent listener, or perhaps they have an impressive work ethic. Whatever it is, praising their skills and characteristics on a regular basis will make them feel seen, loved, and valued, which is pivotal for an intimate bond.

Discuss Your Needs

Meeting one another's needs is crucial for sustaining any loving, intimate relationship. Unfortunately, your partner isn't a mind reader, so if they're falling short in some way, whether it's giving validation or offering support, make sure to vocalize that. For a productive conversation, lead with how something makes you feel, not what your partner did—blaming or accusing them will only make them defensive and less likely to hear what you're saying. Weks also recommends asking your loved one how you can meet their needs, so you can personally contribute to building your partnership.

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