What Does Having a Twin Flame Mean? Plus, 8 Signs You've Met Yours

Chances are, somewhere along your search across the internet, you stumbled upon the term “twin flame.” Maybe you scoffed at the idea, thinking that the concept is a little too out there for your tastes, and scrolled right past it. Or, perhaps it piqued your interest and got your wheels turning, causing you to wonder whether any of your past partners (or your current one) is your twin flame. You—like many people—may have also mistaken this type of relationship for a soulmate, a connection that is also profound and life-changing, but is actually entirely different. 

Regardless of how you came across this new-age concept (which was coined in the 1970s), twin flames are a frequently talked-about topic on the internet. According to spiritual teacher Todd Savvas, a twin flame is the other half of someone’s soul. “A twin flame is your own soul, shared across what appears to be two physical beings," Savvas describes. "It’s one soul split into two bodies.” Since twin flames derive from a single soul, they “mirror” each other’s qualities—both positive attributes and imperfections. The idea is that twin flames are constantly trying to reunite, so they can become one soul again. 

If you’re curious about what a twin flame actually means, we tapped Savvas and licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Melissa Robinson-Brown to break down the concept. In addition to learning about the meaning of a twin flame, below, you’ll also discover how the term differs from other types of relationships, how to know if you've found yours, what the stages of a twin flame relationship entail, and whether being romantically involved with one is healthy or toxic. 

The Meaning of a Twin Flame

A twin flame is the other half of a person’s soul, their “mirror soul,” that they share an intense connection with. “A twin flame is that rare, soul-stirring connection, often described as finding the ‘other half’ of yourself,” Robinson-Brown explains. Because twin flames originate from one soul, they are mirrors to one another, exposing both their strengths and weaknesses. This means that while they share the same interests, perspectives, and emotional responses, they also have the same fears, doubts, and insecurities.

Since these two halves used to be one soul, twin flames have a strong desire to be connected with one another again, so they go on journeys to find their other half. If and when twin flames reunite, there is an intense, magnetic pull toward the other and a sense of recognition. However, it’s important to note that not everyone has a twin flame, and those who do have one don’t always find their match (an encounter depends on whether both halves have individually achieved the necessary level of growth).

The Purpose of a Twin Flame 

At its core, a twin flame is all about spiritual growth. Meeting a twin flame is intended to awaken someone's soul and help them evolve on a spiritual level, so they can learn important lessons and progress on their spiritual journey. “The purpose of discovering your twin flame is to speed up your growth, to release wounds, remove blockages, and lead you to true self-love," Savvas reveals.

In order for spiritual growth to occur, however, a twin flame must come face to face with their insecurities and deepest fears, which their other half reflects back to them. “Twin flame encounters present a mirror," Savvas explains. "The things you don’t want to deal with, the doubts you have, and the inadequacy you see in yourself will all come up through their presence." Because healing from wounds and making considerable changes can be challenging for many, sustaining a relationship with a twin flame is often volatile.

How Twin Flame Connections Differ From Other Relationships

Having a twin flame is rare, and meeting one is even more rare, so these connections are distinct from those that fall under the relationship umbrella. Here are some of the top descriptors that make twin flame relationships one of a kind:

They're rare.

Unlike other relationships, twin flames are rare because your other half is essentially you. “Since a twin flame is actually your soul shared across two physical forms, it differs from other relationships because it’s a type of connection and journey that cannot be shared with anyone else on Earth—you only have one twin flame,” Savvas says. With other relationships, like soulmates for instance, you can have many different types across your lifetime, from partners and friends to relatives and mentors. That said, not all twin flames are romantic, Savvas notes.

They're tumultuous.

A relationship with a twin flame is also intense and tumultuous, so they don’t always last. “Twin flames trigger deep growth and transformation but can be emotionally challenging, making them tough to sustain,” Robinson-Brown says. “While twin flames are drawn to each other, they’re equally resistant, as facing your own reflection—especially the flaws—takes real courage.” Meanwhile, having a romantic or platonic connection with a soulmate is more comfortable and stable, so they prevail (often throughout one’s life) without needing the same level of energy and mental fortitude.

Signs You’ve Met Your Twin Flame 

Not everyone with a twin flame will have the privilege of meeting theirs. For those who do meet their other half, the reunion is typically divinely timed—it happens when both halves are ready to experience spiritual growth and undergo the challenges required to do so. If you're wondering whether you've met your match, here are eight signs to look out for:

Instant Recognition 

When you meet your twin flame, there’s an immediate sense of recognition and familiarity, like you've known this person your entire life. In an instant, your bond is solidified, and all the pieces of your life just seem to come together.

Strong Attraction

Additionally, meeting your twin flame involves a level of intense attraction, whether platonic, romantic, familial, or professional. From the moment you meet, you feel inexplicably drawn to the other person. When you're in their presence, there's a strong pull toward them that you can't seem to resist—and it doesn't seem to wane, either.

Synchronicity 

Twin flames often have a sense of synchronicity. As a relationship with your twin flame unfolds, you'll find that you have a shared moral compass, matching interests, and identical values. Moreover, twin flames often uncover plenty of “coincidences” and similar past experiences.

Emotional Intensity

When you first cross paths with your twin flame, you'll find that your emotions are heightened. Everything you feel—both positive and distressing—will feel notably stronger and even overwhelming.

Amplified Insecurities and Doubts 

Just as your emotions are amplified, so are your insecurities, your fears, and your doubts. Remember that your twin flame is your mirror, and their purpose is to show you everything that is holding you back, such as your biggest worries and self-limiting beliefs, so you can work through them, grow, and come out stronger on the other side.

Turbulence

Twin flame relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows: More often than not, they’re rocky and chaotic. The “ugly” part of your twin flame relationship is really just a result of the fact that you’re being forced to confront and “own” the parts of you that you don’t like—parts that you’d rather not see. When the curtain is pulled back, it can be unsettling at best.

Volatility

As a result of that turbulence, your relationship with your twin flame will likely be on again, off again. Coming face to face with your demons and battling powerful emotions can be overwhelming, to say the least. And when it feels like there’s too much to handle, you (or your twin flame) may be inclined to throw in the towel.

Motivation to Grow

The purpose of a twin flame relationship is to awaken you to your untapped potential and ignite a fire deep inside of you. This relationship pushes you to become a better person, and at the end of the day, it opens up a world of possibilities that you never dreamt of. Without this growth, it’s impossible to move past your fears and anything else that's holding you back in your life. Twin flame love is incredibly powerful, and it serves a distinct purpose: It leads you to the best version of yourself.

The Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship

Those who support the theory on twin flame relationships believe that these types of connections happen in stages. However, there isn’t any scientific evidence to support these claims.

Yearning

During this stage, a twin flame feels a void in their life. “You sense something missing, creating a deep longing,” Robinson-Brown says. Others are said to have a suspicion that they’re about to meet someone significant in their lives.

Meeting

The next stage involves meeting your twin flame, an experience that’s usually powerful and even overwhelming for some. “When twin flames meet, the connection is instant and intense,” Robinson-Brown notes. “It feels like you’ve known each other forever.”

Honeymoon Phase

Twin flames then move on to the honeymoon phase. In romantic relationships, this looks like infatuation. “Dopamine surges, creating an all-consuming, euphoric bond,” Robinson-Brown describes. For non-romantic relationships, this phase still leads to a deep, passionate bond.

Turmoil

When the honeymoon phase ends, twin flames take off their metaphorical rose-colored glasses and see each other’s true colors for the first time, which often leads to conflict. “The dopamine wears off, and personal differences surface, often triggering insecurities or past traumas,” Robinson-Brown continues. 

Runner and Chaser

Then, each mirror soul takes on a different role. One is a “runner,” who tries to leave the relationship, whether they physically or emotionally withdrawal. The other becomes the “chaser,” trying to repair the severed bond.

Surrender

After a tumultuous period, twin flames become more comfortable exposing one another’s imperfections and insecurities and are able to learn the necessary lessons that will help them grow. This ability to evolve and heal allows their connection to deepen.

Union

When twin flames address and resolve (or at least manage) all of the issues in their relationship, they’re able to accept and understand one another better, leading to a sense of oneness. However, Robinson-Brown mentions that not everyone reaches this stage—many aren’t ready or able to confront their weaknesses and, therefore, decide to move on with their separate lives.

Are Twin Flame Relationships Toxic?

While twin flame relationships share similar traits as those in toxic ones, not all twin flame relationships are toxic. Pursuing a relationship with a mirror soul leads to a cycle of turbulence and intense emotions, which often matches that of toxic relationships.

What determines whether or not a relationship is toxic, though, is not the type of relationship, but the people involved. For instance, if someone doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to confront their inner demons or they haven’t done the inner work to face them, the relationship could become unhealthy and unstable. It’s also likely that a twin flame relationship could become codependent—prompting one to help “fix” their twin flame’s wounds.

Can You Sustain a Relationship With a Twin Flame?

Yes, you can sustain a healthy relationship with your twin flame, but it requires self-love, self-awareness, and a lot of work and commitment, according to Robinson-Brown. “To make it healthy, both partners must face themselves, set strong boundaries, and prioritize self-care” she says. “If one person is ready and the other isn’t, the relationship is unlikely to succeed.”