One Bride Is Going Viral on Reddit After She Demotes Maid of Honor for Refusing to Pay for Her Dress

While weddings mark the beginning of a new chapter for you and your partner, they can also test your interpersonal relationships—especially with wedding party members likes bridesmaids and groomsmen. Case in point? One bride is now wondering if she made the right choice after refusing to pay for her maid of honor’s dress then, subsequently replacing her in the ceremony. In a post under the “Am I the A_____” subreddit, a September bride explained that after she took her wedding party members dress shopping, her maid of honor decided she no longer wanted to pay for her gown.

Since the shopping trip was out of town, the bride drove and paid for her maid of honor, bridesmaids, and mother to stay at a local hotel. Then, when it came to dress shopping, she gave the group almost free reign. “For the dresses my only requirement for them were that they had to be a specific blue color and no satin material,” shares the bride. “We spent the whole afternoon trying on dresses and everyone found one they liked, including my MOH. I’ve been told she picked out a $350 dress when most of my other bridesmaids had dresses in the $100-$150 range.”

The following day, it got back to the bride-to-be that her best friend and maid of honor spent the day complaining to the other bridesmaids about having to pay for her own dress. The friend didn’t raise the issue to the bride until a month later. “My MOH called me and asked for me to buy her dress for her,” she writes. “I told her it wouldn’t be fair if I bought her dress and no one else’s and I couldn’t afford to buy everyone’s dress. She said she is the MOH and that everyone would understand it was a privilege she got. I disagreed and our argument got a little heated. It ended with me saying if she could not get the dress, she couldn’t be in the wedding and I wasn’t budging on this. She hung up on me.”

The maid of honor's mom even called the bride to ask her to rethink paying for the dress. “Her mom has since called me saying I’m being very rude for not doing this one thing for her so she can be there on my big day and that I don’t understand what it’s like to not have money for things,” she added. The woman was unwavering in her decision saying the friend had known about her wedding for two years and should’ve set aside money for her dress. Eventually, she decided to make another bridesmaid, who was instrumental in helping to plan the wedding, her maid of honor. “I’ve told my ex-MOH she is still invited and sent her an invitation, but some family is telling me I should have just paid for the dress,” she reflects.

The post immediately sparked conversation, garnering over 700 comments and 4,000 upvotes since it was shared nine days ago. Redditors have agreed that the bride is not wrong in this situation. “If she truly wanted to be in your wedding, she would have save(d) $100-$150 over a two year period,” reads the top comment. “Clearly, her desire was to score an expensive dress that she did not have to pay for. As to her mother's comment, it sounds like you are welcoming her to be there for your big day - just not as a bridesmaid who won't pay for her dress.”

Some people acknowledged that it's not unheard of for a bride to pay for their wedding party’s outfits. “It’s common to buy your own MOH/bridesmaid dress so if she can’t afford to be in the wedding (understandable if money is an issue), it’s quite alright to replace her,” another person added. “Imo, it was s___y of her to complain about the dress to others when that was something she could have brought up to you one-on-one which makes me wonder if she is really struggling with money or simply didn’t want to buy the dress. Either way, you made the right decision.” Another user felt like this issue was all about communication. “I have turned down being a bridesmaid because I don’t want to spend a couple of grand on someone else’s wedding,” they shared. “I rather attend as a guest. I have been a bridesmaid 2x and it was paid for. People need to have boundaries and priorities for their own pockets. If I can’t afford it without hurting myself, then the answer is no. She should have said no, or explained that if she did, she would need help. Communication is key here.” What do you think?