Do Parents Need to Give Their Child a Wedding Gift?

Gifts are an important part of any celebration, especially weddings. Whether it’s a new kitchen appliance from the couple’s registry, a contribution to their honeymoon fund, or a specially curated item, presents for the newlyweds express gratitude for the couple’s hospitality and commemorate this exciting milestone in their lives. According to wedding gift-giving etiquette, the amount of money that the couple of the hour has spent on a guest’s attendance usually determines how much they’ll spend on a wedding gift. But when it comes to the couple’s parents—who usually pay for a portion (if not all) of the wedding—the line is blurry. 

Traditionally, the bride’s family is responsible for footing most of the bill. And while some still follow this model, most split the costs between both sides of the family or contribute a previously-agreed-upon amount. In some cases, the couple pays for the entire celebration themselves. But generally, if you’re a parent of the bride or groom, chances are, you’re spending at least some of your money on the affair. So that begs the question: Does your monetary investment count as a wedding gift? Or do you need to buy your child and future spouse a tangible item in addition? And if so, what type of gift present should you give—something physical or cash?

If you’re wondering what the proper etiquette is, we asked a handful of professional wedding planners to weigh in. Ahead, here’s how to navigate wedding gift-giving expectations as parents of the bride or groom.

Do You Need to Give Your Child a Wedding Gift?

If you’re contributing any amount of money to the wedding—whether it’s covering a portion or all of the bill—giving your child and future spouse a wedding gift on top of your financial contribution is not at all required or expected. Investing in their big day is a gift in and of itself, according to Melissa Williams, owner and lead planner and designer of B Astonished Events. 

Even though the gesture isn’t mandatory, Beth Helmstetter, founder and creative director of Beth Helmstetter Events, says most of her clients receive a wedding gift from their parents. Buying your child and future spouse a supplemental memento is a thoughtful gesture that they’ll greatly appreciate, but the choice is ultimately a personal one that depends on your financial status. It’s also acceptable to give only your child (versus the couple) a present, per Laura Ritchie, principal designer and stylist of Grit & Grace—especially if it’s a family heirloom or something with personal meaning.

How Much Money Should You Spend on Your Child’s Wedding Gift?

If you do decide to buy your child and their future spouse a wedding gift, Ritchie recommends a price range of $50 to $150 as a general guideline. However, the amount of money that you spend on the present depends on the amount you’ve already contributed to the wedding, your financial situation, and your personal preference. Since finding an item that’s meaningful or practical is the utmost priority, low-budget items are completely appropriate, Helmstetter notes.

How to Choose the Best Wedding Gift for Your Child

Wondering what to get your child and future spouse on their big day? Here are some general guidelines to keep in mind when picking out their present.

Consider Monetary Gifts

Although you’re likely already investing a significant amount of money in the couple’s wedding, giving them a monetary gift will help them build their new life together. Whether it’s a check made out to the couple to stock their new home or a contribution to their honeymoon fund, money will help relieve some of the financial burden that typically comes with entering this new chapter. Again, it doesn’t have to be an exorbitant amount—even a little bit will go a long way.

Plan an Experience

Another alternative to a monetary gift is an experience-based one. If your child and their future spouse are excited about their honeymoon, Williams suggests paying for an activity on their trip like dinner on the beach or an adventurous excursion. You can also gift them an experience that they can use at a later date, whether it’s a private cooking class or concert tickets to their favorite band.

Gift Something Meaningful

The best wedding gift is one with sentimental value—something that your child and their future spouse will cherish forever, according to Ritchie. Family heirlooms, such as your mother’s tennis bracelet for your daughter to wear on her wedding day or antique china for the couple to use in their newlywed home, are filled with a sense of history and meaning. Custom gifts are also extremely thoughtful. For example, consider a framed wedding photo, a bottle of champagne made in their wedding year, or monogrammed linens, per Ritchie and Helmstetter.

Prioritize Functionality

Since your child and their future spouse are about to start a new chapter together, Williams advises thinking about their needs. Consider items that they’ll use on a daily basis like an espresso machine for coffee fanatics or plush robes for homebodies. Some other no-fail gifts are new linens, a nice flatware set, or upgraded cookware.

Coordinate With Your Child’s Future In-Laws

Another option is coordinating with your child’s future in-laws to split a big-budget wedding gift. That way, you can pull your resources to splurge on something grand. “If the gift is really expensive or monumental, a group gift is a great idea,” Ritchie says. That might look like covering the cost of the couple’s honeymoon or paying for a future weekend getaway.

When to Give Your Child a Wedding Gift

There isn’t a hard-and-fast rule that dictates when to give the couple their gift—it depends on your own personal preference and schedule. If you want to watch the pair open their present, set aside a private moment a night or two before the wedding, Ritchie advises. Another option, according to Helmstetter, is shipping the package to their home around the wedding date, just like the other registry items from guests. And if you plan on giving cash? You can slip your gift into the card box or hand it off to them during a quiet moment on the big day.