7 Embarrassingly Common Etiquette Mistakes Wedding Guests Make at Receptions

While wedding reception etiquette might seem obvious—find your seat when asked, participate on the dance floor, don’t overdo it at the bar—planners have nearly endless stories of guests who didn’t quite hit the mark: Jumping in historic-estate pools marked “No swimming,” inhaling the passed bites before the newlyweds get a chance to try them, stealing the bride’s bouquet, and more. 

Some of the most common etiquette breaches might be unintentional: Maybe you thought everyone would love your impromptu toast, or that no one would notice you ignored the dress code. Regardless of the thought (or lack thereof) behind these common etiquette errors, it’s essential for you to avoid them, and instead, be on your best behavior to make the day run smoothly for the newlyweds. Here, two wedding planners share some of the most common etiquette mistakes wedding guests make at the reception, so you can avoid them—full stop.

Not Following the Dress Code

Traditional etiquette calls for avoiding white dresses at a wedding reception (although you have some flexibility with white-adjacent or clearly non-bridal frocks that wouldn’t stand out in the photos). But what you shouldn’t wear can be as important as what you should, says Heather Dwight of Calluna Events: Always follow the dress code. If the couple requests an all-white palette, don your best ivory; if they prefer a formal affair, grab your favorite gown; and if they’re hosting a cosplay celebration, pull out a costume (then finish any of these outfits with accessories and details that match your personal style). “There’s some leeway here, but if it’s black tie and you come casual, you will stick out like a sore thumb,” says Dwight. 

Bringing Uninvited Guests

Plenty of wedding guests make RSVP-based etiquette mistakes before they even attend the reception: asking to bring a plus-one when their invitation didn’t specify one or swapping out a partner who can’t attend for a best friend or other fill-in who can. But major mistakes can also occur during the wedding, as guests show up with extra plus-ones, unwelcome substitutes, or uninvited children; don’t come at all after accepting the invitation; or fail to arrive without letting the couple know. “Rude—and annoying,” says Dwight. 

(Unintentionally) Ruining the Photos

The newlyweds have spent thousands of dollars on professional photographers to capture the details of their day. The vendors and the couple are begging you not to ruin the final product by holding up your phone—or worse, your tablet—to block every shot. Don’t let your technology photobomb the cake cutting, the first dance, or the toasts, says Dwight—and, she adds, don’t mess with the pre-party detail shots of the reception décor by putting your coat or bag on your chair before the room is open, either.

Switching Seats or Meals

Whether you ended up at a reception dining table with your TMI-spouting Auntie Muriel, the bride’s snooty cousins, or the work colleagues you’ve never met, make the best of it: A wedding reception is not an event where you can request to change your seat (or—even worse—switch it on your own). “This happens at every wedding,” says Dwight. “The couple painstakingly prepares a seating chart, and at every wedding we have guests who want to switch seats—and also change up their pre-ordered meal option. All of this is planned out in advance in thorough detail with catering staff and floor plans.” If you really can’t stand your tablemates, smile through the meal and hit the dance floor as soon as possible.

Taking the Rentals

While some couples invite guests to take home their centerpieces, you should never assume that the flowers, tablescape elements, or place setting pieces are meant as favors. “Guests take flowers with the vases—or in one case, a guest took the bridal bouquet!” says Dwight. Friends and family members are also inclined to finish their last drink on their way to the after-party, walking out of the reception with rented goblets or flutes. “We often have to grab glassware out of drunk guests’ hands as they are boarding shuttles,” says Dwight. Follow a simple rule: If you didn’t bring it with you, don’t take it home.

Taking the Mic

Unless you’ve been invited to give a toast, do not—we repeat do not—pick up the microphone. Giving an impromptu speech is a hard no, says Dwight, as is taking the stage with the band to provide backing vocals or dancing. (You are a guest, not the hired entertainment!) 

If you are given a chance to speak, keep your script short and sweet: “Don’t go over your allocated time,” says event planner Chanda Daniels. “Making extremely long speeches can detract from the event, monopolizing time and potentially boring other guests. Adhering to these etiquette guidelines helps create a harmonious atmosphere, allowing everyone to enjoy the festivities and honor the couple's special day.”

Misbehaving at the Bar

Following your Champagne toast with a mixed drink or two may put you in a festive mood, but getting sloppy is a major etiquette breach. “Guests should avoid over-drinking at the reception to maintain decorum and respect the special occasion,” says Daniels. “Excessive drinking can lead to disruptive behavior, overshadowing the couple's celebration and causing potential embarrassment or conflict. This also includes engaging in risky habits, such as reckless behavior or drug use—this can also create unnecessary drama and safety concerns, detracting from the couple's joyous moment.”