Bridal Shower Thank-You Notes: Etiquette Tips and Examples

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As far as pre-wedding events go, the bridal shower tends to be the celebration that brides (and female family members and friends!) look forward to most. It's not hard to see why, too: These fêtes bring together a bride's nearest and dearest for a day (and sometimes, evening) of gifts, marriage advice, cocktails, and good fun. So if your loved ones recently threw a bridal shower in your honor, it's only right that you show your appreciation to everyone who helped make it special. The single best way to do this? By sending each bridal shower attendee (and those who didn't attend but sent a gift) a personalized thank-you note.

But since we know that writing thank-you cards isn't the easiest task, we asked etiquette expert Dianne Marsch to share her words of wisdom. Here, she provides general tips for writing these special notes, as well as guidelines for when and how to send them. Plus, we share five draft examples to help you put pen to paper. Read on for everything you need to know about writing an etiquette-approved bridal shower thank-you note.

Meet the Expert

Dianne Marsch is an etiquette expert and the director of the Etiquette School of Manhattan.

The Top Bridal Shower Thank-You Note Etiquette Rules

Sending a bridal shower thank-you note is necessary as it shows an appropriate level of gratitude and appreciation for those who are choosing to be by your side during your journey to the aisle, explains Marsch. Plus, since this celebration is a live event, thank-you notes are a lovely way to express your love to those who attended in person. But if you're unsure of the proper etiquette rules to follow when drafting these cards, Marsch breaks down what you need to know below.

Be sure to send a note to everyone who attended your event—and to those who sent a gift.

Since thank-you notes are meant to outwardly and formally express your gratitude, these cards should be given to everyone who attended your special event. Anyone who gave you a gift—regardless of whether or not they were physically present during your shower—should receive a note, as well. Be sure to also write an extra-special thank you to the events hostess (or hostesses) for organizing the day.

Another rule? You shouldn't skip out on sending a card if you opened someone's gift in person and thanked them at the party. "Shower gifts are [often] opened in front of the giver, and your gratitude should be shown immediately. Many feel this personal display of appreciation eliminates the recipient from having to write a thank-you note," Marsch explains. "But good manners always dictate that a sincere thank-you note should be written to each guest who gave a shower gift—and a specially worded thank-you note should be written to the host or hostess of the event."

Ensure your thank-you cards are personal and handwritten.

According to Marsch, thank-you cards should always be handwritten, then mailed out to the respective recipient. Some brides even like to go all out and send thank you cards on engraved stationery or stationery that matches the bridal shower theme (however, this isn't necessary). "Plain notepaper, single sheets, or folded notes with matching envelopes are very nice and much less expensive," offers Marsch. "It is never acceptable to use pre-printed thank you cards."

Send your bridal shower thank-you cards soon after your event.

"Wedding shower thank-you cards should be sent within the week following the shower," says Marsch, as you don't want to wait too long to express your appreciation. Also, since you'll have other wedding-related tasks to do, it's best to get these completed and out of the way before your next celebratory event.

How to Write a Bridal Shower Thank-You Note

Bridal shower thank-you notes should be personalized, heartfelt messages, so do what feels organic to you. That being said, there are a few key points you should hit, which Marsch outlines below.

Chose quality over quantity.

Bridal shower thank-you cards don't have to be long, and "a thank-you note can consist of just a few lines to several paragraphs," says Marsch. She further adds that close friends and relatives should get longer notes with more details: "An example would be thanking an aunt who spent many hours sewing a quilt in your favorite colors. The thank-you note should express all the time and love that was put into making it."

Keep your thank-you cards personal.

While thank-you notes don't have to be long, they should be personal and tailored to the recipient. "Always mention the gift by name and why you are so delighted or happy to have received it," shares Marsch. "Also how it will be used is a nice added thought to include depending on the gift." For example, if you received a picture frame from a close friend, include some ideas of the types of pictures you might display in it.

Focus on the thought behind the gift.

If you don't love a gift, don't fret: Just focus on the thought behind it. "If there is a gift that you may not enjoy receiving, you are still expected to express your sincere appreciation for the thought and effort from the guest and for attending the shower," Marsch says. "Remember, whatever the gift, whether a gift of their time, talent, or other, should be acknowledged through a thank-you note of how their gift brought happiness and how their kindness is sincerely appreciated."

If given cash, share how you'll use the gift.

Where do I even begin? I cannot thank you enough for throwing me my dream bridal shower. Your attention to detail, from the games to the food and specialty drinks, did not go unnoticed. I know hosting an event isn't an easy task, and I appreciate all the time, energy, and love you put into making sure my celebration was perfect. Your support means more to me than you know, and I can't wait to continue on this journey to the aisle with you by my side.

All my love,

[name]

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