Woman Rejects Boyfriend's Proposal After 10 Years of Dating: "Took Too Long"

An engagement is a big step in any relationship. By deciding to say “I do” to your partner, you’re committing yourself to them in front of all of your loved ones. While the average U.S. couple typically dates for two and a half years before a proposal, every duo operates on their own timeline. Maybe you’ve been together since high school and decided to tie the knot eight years after you went on your first date. Or perhaps you met later in life and scheduled your wedding ceremony just a year after matching on a dating app. Yet for one woman, her boyfriend took a bit too long to pop the question, leading her to turn down his proposal when he eventually got down on one knee. 

In a post on Reddit’s “Off My Chest” subreddit, her boyfriend wrote about the rejected proposal. “I proposed to my girlfriend of 10 years yesterday, and she said no because I took too long,” he wrote. “I was so excited. I proposed. I handed her the ring. She looked like she was going to cry. Then she said ‘Sorry. I don’t think we should get married.’” Stunned at her response, the original poster wrote that he inquired why she couldn’t commit to marrying him. “She said something along the lines of ‘I’ll always be the girl you took a decade to decide if I was wifey material,’” he wrote. His partner added that she didn’t know “how to be happy with that reality.” Her response shocked the OP. “Now the woman I love isn’t willing to be my wife,” he said. “I don’t know what… to do.” 

Even though the OP was surprised and upset over his girlfriend’s decision to turn down his proposal, his fellow Redditors weren’t. “I don't understand why it's a big deal for you,” one person wrote. “You never cared enough to give your [girlfriend] a timeline after many years. You didn't care why she stopped asking you about marriage. You just waited until you were comfortable. You saw her as a [girlfriend] when she wanted to be a wife for 10 years.” The commenter added that it’s likely the OP’s girlfriend stopped seeing him as her future husband. “That’s expected after 10 years of waiting,” the Redditor wrote. “She accepted your stance for so long. Maybe you should accept hers from now on.” Others agreed. “Yeah, after five or seven years and nothing new has advanced, developed, or changed in the relationship, it would [make] anybody think that this is just how the relationship will continue to be from now on,” another person added. 

Much of the context surrounding the OP’s relationship remains unknown. It’s unclear whether or not he and his girlfriend had developed the skills and bond experts recommend before deciding to tie the knot. “Couples often know it’s the right time to get engaged when they both feel a strong sense of readiness, commitment, and mutual love and respect,” Courtney Glashow, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, previously told Brides. “They may have openly discussed their future together, resolved any doubts or concerns, and feel confident in their decision to take the next step toward marriage.”