Groom Demands Sister Pay $115 Fee for Attending His Wedding—Even After She Gave Him a $400 Cash Gift

Weddings are expensive. Regardless of whether you choose to spend the bulk of your budget on a renowned caterer, a gorgeous venue, or your favorite DJ, the costs of these vendors can quickly add up. The average cost of a U.S. wedding was just under $29,000 last year, and many couples surpass that number, particularly if they choose to expand their guest list, host their nuptials during peak season, or integrate expensive add-ons into their celebration. Ultimately, though, the budget you set for your nuptials is a number you and your partner feel comfortable with—and have committed to covering. However, for one recent set of newlyweds, they decided to offload some of their fees onto their guests, requesting them to chip into the cost of the affair weeks later. 

In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming,” subreddit, a guest posted about the unexpected ask she received from the groom. “My younger brother got married a few weeks ago, and it was overall a lovely evening,” the original poster wrote. “Now this week I received a text from him saying ‘“Hi wife's name just told me she hasn’t received your $115 each no rush you can send it to 123@email.com.’” The OP added that this mandatory fee hadn’t been communicated to her prior to the nuptials—and wasn’t stated on the invitation. “My husband and I already gave them $400 cash in their card,” she added. While many couples may opt to book a more affordable venue if they were operating under a tight budget, these newlyweds selected a high-end celebration space. “This wedding took place at an expensive restaurant downtown in a private room that’s famous for its architecture,” the Redditor wrote. “No idea why they booked that place if they can’t afford it. No open bar or dance floor. We didn’t even drink alcohol that night and still paid $30 for pop and coffee plus Uber there and back.”

When the OP raised her discomfort around the surprise ask to her brother, his reply only increased her agitation. “His only response is ‘oh thought you knew’ ‘I forgot to tell you sorry’ all nonchalantly,” she wrote. “So infuriating. It got heated, and I eventually told him I would send the money but he can wait, [and] now I’m pissed off. Now I’m considering not sending anything and if he asks I’ll say ‘oh I forgot.’ Oh did I mention I also got married in June this year and didn’t charge anyone a dime.” 

The internet immediately sided with the OP, calling the ask inappropriate and shameful. “Don't send money,” one person wrote. “Rewarding them for their bad behavior will only make them believe what they're doing is okay.” Others suggested that the Redditor simply inform her brother that he can take the fee out of her and her partner’s cash gift. “Tell him they can take it out of the $400 enclosed in the card,” a user commented. “My god, how tacky. If they're going to be cheap and petty like this I'd send an itemized bill right back. Pay me for the Uber, pay me for what I spent on food/drinks, pay me for anything I spent on pre-wedding festivities. Dying to know what your parents think of this.”