How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech

When it comes to wedding speeches, there's no rule that says the groom has to give one; generally speaking, the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor are the only people required to grab the microphone—but there's even some flexibility here. That being said, grooms shouldn't shy away from saying a few words during the reception if they feel called to do so. It's a wonderful chance to thank guests for their attendance, family members for their financial and emotional support, and wedding vendors for bringing the day to life. Most importantly, it gives you a public platform to thank your partner for making you the happiest person in the room.

"The groom's speech is an opportunity for the groom to express deep gratitude, share personal reflections on the journey to marriage, and set the tone for the celebration ahead," explains Steven Greitzer, CEO and founder of Provenance. These remarks are also special because they allow the groom to have a brief moment to shine—especially for those who have an outgoing and charismatic personality. If you're feeling nervous about the idea of giving a toast, however, here's the good news: Preparing for your speech is surprisingly simple and only requires you to follow a few simple steps.

Here, we break down Greitzer's top tips for writing and delivering an amazing wedding speech as the groom, including exactly what to say to get everyone clapping, what to avoid, and a few sample speeches to inspire your own.

The Average Length of a Groom Speech

As with all wedding speeches, it's best to keep your remarks short and sweet, only touching upon the main points you want to get across. "A groom's speech should be impactful, but still concise, ideally lasting around three minutes max," explains Greitzer. "This ensures that it complements rather than dominates the flow of the reception, allowing guests to enjoy the other toasts from the night while also saving ample time for eating and dancing."

The Ultimate Groom Speech Template

If you're feeling like you can't possibly add another task to your pre-wedding to-do list, remember that writing your speech shouldn't take long at all. In fact, it should only take less than 15 minutes to prepare, which is less than the time it takes to watch a rerun of your favorite television show. As for how to write your remarks? Greitzer provides the ultimate template to follow, below.

Start with a warm opening and express gratitude.

In today's modern world, most of your wedding guests are traveling to be part of the big day, so acknowledging their efforts and expressing your gratitude is the best way to open up your speech. "Welcoming your guests warmly sets the tone for the celebration. Start by expressing your heartfelt gratitude to everyone who has come to share this special day with you," says Greitzer. "A simple 'thank you' can create a sense of community and warmth." After all, regardless of how big or small your wedding is, there's a good chance you won't be able to spend quality time with each guest, which means your speech is the perfect opportunity to thank everyone for coming.

You can even use this portion of the speech to highlight specific individuals, "like a grandparent, or a friend who has traveled a great distance," explains Greitzer. "This is also the time to thank your parents, your in-laws, and publicly shout out your vendors—a small thank you goes a long way," he adds.

Take a moment to appreciate your partner.

Your wedding day is about you and your partner coming together, so you'd be remiss not to say something sweet about the person you just married. "Even though you've exchanged vows, this moment allows for a more informal and spontaneous expression of your love for your partner. It's a chance to share in real time what you're feeling and to express your gratitude and love in a relaxed and genuine way," shares Greitzer.

Recall one to two memories.

Your groom speech is the perfect opportunity to share a sweet memory from your relationship and give guests a glimpse into the world you and your partner have built together. It also gives you the chance to share any childhood anecdotes that involve close friends and family. However, since you only have three minutes to deliver your toast, stick to one to two core memories that mean the most to you—and don't share anything your partner would object to you saying.

Share any announcements (if applicable).

Whether it’s about the dinner being currently served, the signature cocktail available at the bar, the DJ/band, the schedule for buses, or the overall atmosphere in the reception space, pull out one comment to share aloud related to the evening’s experience, explains Greitzer. This allows everyone to stay informed and "helps the event run smoothly and keeps everyone on the same page," he adds.

End on a fun note and give thanks again.

"Wrapping up your welcome speech with a touch of fun sets a great tone for the rest of the evening. Consider sharing a lighthearted anecdote from your relationship or a funny story from your wedding planning journey," says Greitzer. "This not only leaves your guests smiling but also creates a smooth transition into the celebration, helping everyone get into the festive spirit."

Then, before officially concluding your speech, give one more round of thanks to everyone involved. Anyone you missed on the first pass—your families, any special friends, and especially your wedding vendors—should be noted here. Finally, ask everyone to raise a toast to your partner, your families, the friends in attendance, and the hardworking staff working to bring the day to life.  

What to Avoid When Writing a Groom Speech

While you should feel empowered to write a speech that's personal to you, there are a few things you shouldn't do when penning your toast. Ahead, Greitzer highlights what to avoid when putting together your groom speech.

• Avoid inappropriate humor. "Steer clear of jokes that might be considered offensive or inappropriate. Humor is a great way to lighten the mood, but it’s not worth offending your new mother-in-law."
• Avoid overly personal or inside jokes. "Inside jokes that only a few people understand can alienate the rest of your audience. Ensure your speech is inclusive and resonates with everyone."
• Steer clear of exes. "This should go without saying, but avoid mentioning past relationships or ex-partners. This would likely be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, including your partner."

Sample Groom Speeches to Inspire Your Own

Stuck on what to say? Here are two sample speeches Greitzer generated with Provenance.

Sample 1

I promise to make this quick! Thank you all so much for being here to celebrate with us. For those who traveled across the world, or across the 405, we are eternally grateful. Seriously, looking out and seeing all your amazing faces fills me with so much happiness. To our vendors who brought our vision to life, you all are wizards. Appreciate you all so much.

To our families, thank you for all your love and support. You've taught us what it means to be patient, helpful, and resilient. We're so grateful for everything you've done for us, including putting up with our irrational, late-night panicked wedding planning emergency calls.

To our friends, thank you for being our chosen family. Whether it was decorating our apartment with engagement decorations before we got back from vacation, or entertaining our weird game night ideas, we can't wait for more fun times and great memories together.

And most importantly, to [partner’s name]… holy sh*t we’re finally married?! I can’t believe how lucky I am that you answered my double text. While I think you’re beautiful in your messy bun and retainer, you look unbelievable tonight.

To anyone I missed, thank you for making this day so special.

So, let's raise our glasses and toast to love, friendship, and the fun times ahead.

Cheers!

Sample 2

Good evening, everyone.

First of all, thank you all for being here tonight. It's truly amazing to look around and see so many of our friends and family gathered together. Your presence means the world to us, and we're grateful for each and every one of you.

I want to start by thanking my parents. Mom and Dad, your support and love have shaped me into the person I am today. You've always been there for me, guiding me with your wisdom and setting an example of what a loving marriage looks like. I can only hope to follow in your footsteps.

To my new in-laws, thank you for welcoming me into your family with open arms. Your kindness and generosity have made me feel like I've been part of your family for years. I'm excited to create many more memories together.

To my groomsmen, thank you for standing by my side today and throughout my life. Each of you has played a significant role in my journey, and I'm honored to have you here. Your friendship has been a constant source of strength and laughter.

And now, to my beautiful wife/husband/partner. [Name], I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be standing here with you. From the moment we met in that little coffee shop on Valencia Street, I knew there was something special about you. Your kindness, intelligence, and passion for life inspire me every day. You make me a better person, and I am so grateful for your love and partnership. I promise to support you, laugh with you, and love you unconditionally for the rest of our lives.

[Wedding location] has always been a special place for us, filled with memories of our adventures together. From exploring [Golden Gate Park] to sunset walks along [Ocean Beach], this city has been the backdrop of our love story. And today, surrounded by the people we care about most, we're beginning a new chapter in our favorite city.

So, here's to love, laughter, and a lifetime of happiness. Thank you all for sharing this special day with us. Let's raise a glass to new beginnings and the beautiful journey ahead.

Cheers!