How to Write and Deliver an Incredible Maid of Honor Speech

Though it's a huge honor to be asked to serve as the maid of honor for a family member or friend, it's a role that also comes with a slew of important jobs. You'll be tasked with everything from helping the bride choose her wedding dress and planning the bachelorette party to hosting the bridal shower and corralling the bridesmaids on the wedding morning. Another very important job on your list? Giving a maid of honor speech during the wedding reception. While this is a moment to celebrate your friendship and share best wishes for the couple—two things that probably come quite easily to you—the idea of getting up in front of a crowd can be nerve-wracking if you're not used to public speaking.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, we're here to help. We've taken it upon ourselves to create a go-to guide for penning the perfect maid of honor speech and advice on how to deliver your words like a professional. With our tips and tricks (and a little bit of practice), your toast will go off without a hitch.

To help create this guide, we gathered expert insight from professional speechwriter Katelyn Peterson, the founder of vow- and toast-writing company Wedding Words, and public speaking expert LaQuita Cleare, the founder of Clear Communication Academy. We also rounded up examples of real-life speeches to help inspire your own words.

Ready to get to work? Ahead, you'll find our very best tips and guidelines to follow when writing and delivering an absolutely unforgettable maid of honor speech.

Maid of Honor Speech Template

While every maid of honor speech will be different, we've put together an outline that you can follow as you get you started on yours.

Start with the bride; end with the couple.

Of everyone at the wedding, you have the best insight into how much your best friend's partner has changed them for the better. Your maid of honor speech needs to be about the pal you knew long before meeting their soulmate and then pivot to what role they have played in their life. Maybe your friend is even funnier now, or maybe you've simply never seen her so happy. This is also a great way to incorporate their new spouse into the speech if you don't really know them that well; speak to the way that they complement each other or how your friend's new spouse has made them a better person.

Make an emotional connection

One of Cleare's top tips? Write a speech that only you could pen. Make it emotional (it doesn't have to be a tear-jerker! Happiness is an emotion, too!) and bring your connection to the bride (and the couple) to the forefront. "Tell a story about your relationship with the [couple]. It doesn’t have to be a long story," notes Cleare. "In fact, small specific moments with relatable details make the best stories."

Pepper in anecdotes.

Stories do a better job of getting your point across than blanket statements do, so use these to move your speech along. "Each anecdote you share should have an underlying theme that ties all the short stories together," says Peterson. "Reveal that theme near the end of your speech, and you’ll achieve a strong emotional impact."

Skip any mentions of their exes.

No one wants to be reminded of past relationships, particularly in front of their family, friends, and new life partner. Keep the tone of your speech positive, and it will reflect positively on you also. You don't want to come across as though you're trying to roast your friend.

End with a positive outlook.

The nature of this speech is not so much about your relationship with your friend, but the bond the couple shares. Make sure all of the separate components of your toast draw a positive conclusion, ending in how happy the couple is together and your best wishes for their marriage.

Or give other attendees something to do next.

An alternative ending idea? Give guests something to do. "A call to action for everyone is also a fun way to end a speech," Cleare explains. "While wishing the couple well, you can also encourage guests to meet someone new or share a quick story with the person standing next to them about how they met the couple."

Maid of Honor Speech Writing and Delivery Tips

Now that you have a loose template to follow, follow our expert-approved tips for writing, practicing, and delivering a maid of honor speech no one will forget.

Brainstorm before you start writing.

Kick-start the creative process by writing down any memories, emotions, or ideas that make you think of your best friend. "I recommend free-writing for 20 minutes," says Peterson. "When you’re done with this exercise, you should have some quality material that you can weave into the form of a speech." This allows you to create a blueprint of all the major points you want to make—more or less creating a roadmap for your ideas—and then fill it in with supporting information.

Need help brainstorming? Use these points to get the creative juices flowing.

• Who will be speaking before or after you, and how will this affect the content of your speech? (You might want to include a reference to their toast in your speech, thank them for an introduction, or introduce the next speaker.)
• What would your friend want their in-laws and newly-acquired family to know about them, and how can you attest to those qualities or characteristics from your own experiences with them?
• What's a warm memory of the newlyweds that always makes you smile? (Ask yourself: If their relationship were a Hollywood movie trailer, what key moments would be featured?)
• When you picture the couple's life together in a few years (or from this moment forward), what do you see? Is there any advice you can give them for their lifelong journey ahead?
• Is there something you want to say to your bestie's new spouse? (Perhaps a few lighthearted tips on how to handle more trying situations that you've learned from your own experiences with them.)
  

Ditch generic praise.

"Use entertaining and engaging stories to show the bride’s personality," advises Peterson. There's a big difference between simply saying, "She is such a great friend!" versus telling a story that illustrates just that.

Remember it isn't about you.

While a lot of the anecdotes should be about your time with your friend, you should not be the focal point. After you briefly introduce yourself (remember: most of the people probably won't know who you are or your relation to the couple), you shouldn't be making any additional references to yourself. You're simply the vehicle to explain why the newlyweds are so fantastic.

Don't try to make it perfect.

According to Cleare, the worst thing you can do is put pressure on yourself to write or deliver a "perfect" maid of honor speech. "Take the pressure off yourself to be perfect," she says. Trying to do so, she explains, might actually cause you to trip up more. "I have noticed that people get really nervous when delivering wedding speeches. This causes people to speak too fast and often the verbal fillers like umm and uh come out. Purposeful pauses during a speech can make it feel more impactful."

Keep it short.

The longer your speech, the more opportunities you'll have for people to start losing attention. "Keep your speech under five minutes," suggests Peterson. "Anywhere between two to five minutes is great."

Pause.

Be sure to pause for a few seconds after each joke to let the audience laugh. When you immediately start speaking right afterward, you won't give people a chance to laugh or even understand the next line. Keep in mind that starting the speech on a funny note can help you capture the attention of the audience for a minute or two, but it's the meaningful content that will keep them enthralled until the end. "Your goal should be to have guests laughing and wiping tears away by balancing humor with sincerity," says Peterson.

Avoid using too many inside jokes.

If the joke or situation is something other wedding guests would have to be there to understand, avoid using it. If people don't understand the context behind it, it will probably go over their heads. It's okay to poke a little bit of fun at your friend, but keep it light. Don't say anything that would be embarrassing or make them feel uncomfortable.

Practice.

"The more you recite your speech out loud, the more comfortable you’ll become," notes Peterson. Practice your speech twice a day, starting at least a week beforehand, and record yourself a couple of times so you can hear your pacing and tone. Rehearse the speech in front of friends, too, in order to see if your jokes get a laugh, and try practicing in a mirror to nail your physical presence. Another option, according to Cleare? "You can also record your wedding speech and watch it to see where you can improve."

Get your energy level up.

Want to keep the audience engaged? The secret to doing just that is simple: Be engaging. "Raise your energy levels. Passion is contagious, and your audience will want to join in when they see you smiling and laughing," Cleare explains. If you seem like you're enjoying giving the speech, the other guests in attendance will be more likely to follow along.

Maid of Honor Speech Examples to Make Your Own

If you're feeling stuck, here are three examples of speeches from real bridesmaids to inspire your own.

Example 1

"Good evening, everyone. I’m Cami, the maid of honor and the bride’s best friend. Over the past 15 years, I’ve witnessed Madison prioritize everyone else’s happiness, but today, we get to honor hers. With Madison being my most fun-loving friend, I knew she’d be down to join me on a two-week adventure traveling throughout Europe. We lived together, but nothing cements a friendship quite like sharing a full-size bed in dingy hostels from the Netherlands to Spain. Madison’s luggage kept breaking, and she went through four suitcases in 14 days! There we were, strolling down a busy street in Madrid and Madison’s clothes were falling out of her over-packed suitcase, painting the path behind us with her sundresses and socks. But she never let her rundown luggage ruin the trip. She just kept rolling with it. Literally. I can always depend on Madison to roll with any situation, to show up for the people that she loves, and to have a good time.

But the truth is everyone in this room is better for knowing you, Madison. You love so deeply, selflessly, and unconditionally. And I know that Pete is the best partner for Madison because I’ve seen him mirror these traits for her. No matter what may come your way, your combined patience, resilience, and love will make you an unstoppable team. And most importantly, I know you two will continue to keep rolling with it. Cheers!" —Cami

Example 2

"I’m Ashley and welcome! I was introduced to Sarah through a mutual friend to evaluate if she would be a fit as my future roommate. I showed up to that first dinner wearing a casual sundress and flats. Meanwhile, Sarah walked in with voluminous curls, smoky eyes, red lipstick, and a smile that showed me she deserved that Miss Florida title in ’04. I just thought, 'Who is this girl?' Over the next two hours, I learned that this girl was the coolest, funniest person and that I had to live with her. We moved in and it was truly an immediate fit from watching the same shows to downing bottles of the same wine. Despite our homebody nature, we did enjoy our Saturday nights running around the city. One night after several margaritas, Sarah and I found ourselves locked out of our house. So we came up with the best plan we could imagine: Let’s cannonball into our pool. There we were: Two tequila-loving girls cannonballing to see who could create the biggest splash. From that night on, whenever we went out, we’d ask ourselves one key question: 'Is it going to be a cannonball in the pool kind of night?'

And just like she’s always filled the gap in our friend group—we know that John has entered her life to level her out in the best of ways, too. Let’s raise a glass to Sarah and John! May your life together be full of cannonball-in-the-pool kind of nights." —Ashley

Example 3

"Hi, my name is Makena and I’m the bride’s younger sister and maid of honor. As I look at Winnie and Miles today, I see two people in the most loving, trustworthy, and nurturing relationship I’ve ever witnessed. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that even on her wedding day, Winnie is teaching me about life and love. Because the truth is Winnie has been my lifelong teacher. She’s the one who taught me how to read and how to ride a bike, but my most memorable teaching moment was when I was 11 years old. We had this mutual understanding—or so I thought—that we would not read each other’s journals. But I, of course, read hers and naively assumed she did not read mine. I learned the truth when I opened my journal one day to see an entire page filled with Winnie’s handwriting. There in the middle of my journal was a critique from my sister detailing out how I could improve my writing.

I know that if it weren’t for my sister, I would not be the person I am today. I’m inspired daily by the woman she is. Her confidence is unshakable, her excitability is contagious, and her determination is awe-inspiring. Winnie will finally get to experience what I’ve felt like my entire life with her. She’ll be cared for, unconditionally loved, and will learn every day with Miles as her lifelong teacher through love. Please raise a glass to Winnie and Miles! May you two never stop learning from each other as you continue to love each other." —Makena