13 Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech, According to Public Speaking Experts

If you feel as though public speaking isn't easy, you're not alone. Many people find it to be a particularly anxiety-inducing experience. This is especially true when you're feeling the added pressure that comes along with giving a speech at a loved one's wedding. Not only do you have the attention of dozens (if not hundreds!) of guests, but you're also trying to appeal to a group of people in a wide range of ages from all different phases of the couple's lives. Plus, you want your speech to delight the couple of the hour and be as appealing to your group of friends as it is to the newlyweds' grandparents. All to say: It's a tough task.

Before you panic, know that we're here to help. Ahead, we're sharing a comprehensive guide on the best tips to keep in mind before giving your speech, as well as some examples and templates to help get your creative juices flowing—all from noteworthy speakers, well-established speechwriters, and wedding planners.

Wedding Speech Template

Every great wedding speech has one thing in common: the right flow. Factor in these guidelines to help you find your own organic rhythm.

Congratulate the Couple

Express how happy you are that the two of them are getting married and what it means to you to witness it.

Open With a Statement or Question

Don't lead with a joke or a reference to how nervous you are. "The goal is to engage your audience, not make it a boring one-way message," says award-winning motivational speaker Jaime Pfeffer. "You'll lose them if you do this."

Introduce Yourself

After your opener, introduce yourself, says Fallon Carter, the founder and creative director of Fallon Carter Events. "A lot of times, people don't know who is speaking, and they don't know their relationship to the bride or the groom," she says. "It's really important to identify yourself, so make sure you've prepared something."

Tell a Story

When you’re writing your speech, think about stories that could be grouped together. "Choose anecdotes that all fit a theme and support your argument," says Kristine Keller, a writer and the co-founder of Speech Tank. The theme will help tie it together, making your toast feel intentional instead of random.

Address Both Partners

You may not know them both well, but you shouldn’t focus all of your attention on your friend and ignore their new spouse. "Even if you’ve only met your friend’s partner once or twice before, find a way to include him or her in your toast," says Marisa Polansky, a book editor, author, and co-founder of Speech Tank. "Tell the story of their engagement or share something your friend told you about them that proves what a great partner he or she is."

Go for the Crowd-Pleasers

"Anything that’s an inside joke may have been funny at the time, but no one else will understand what you’re talking about," Keller says. "Run your stories and jokes by a neutral audience to see if they are as funny as you think." And remember, a little humor is fine, but this is a toast—not a roast.

Focus on a Few Points

Susan Bender Phelps, the CEO of Odyssey Mentoring & Leadership, says to keep it concise. Select one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with no more than three short stories to illustrate each of these points (or that one point). "The simple, succinct story or stories where the bride and groom are the hero will work best," she says. This is an excellent way to structure your speech and keep your message focused.

Raise Your Glass for a Toast

To wrap up your speech, invite everyone to raise their glass to the couple, or to love, etc., then cheers glasses together and take a sip.

13 Expert-Approved Wedding Speech Tips

Now that you've established the right framework for your words, take note of these essential tips from the experts to truly ace your speech.

Just Get Started

Figuring out where to start when drafting your toast can be tough. "When we work with our clients, we always start with a stream of consciousness," Keller says. "We ask them to just start telling us stories. You might not think every anecdote is important, but all of a sudden you’ll land on a real gem."

Start Writing Things Down

When you’re doing this at home on your own, Polansky says to just start writing stuff down. "Put it all down on paper," she recommends. "Don’t worry about editing as you’re writing, just get it out and then go back and pick and choose details when you’re done." This will help you identify a theme, which is what you’ll need to make your toast really memorable.

Use Examples

"If you’re trying to make a point about the bride or groom's personality—say, that she or he's particularly loyal—don’t just say that and move on," Polansky says. "Pick a specific moment that proves your point. Have something to back it up!" Including some proof will make sure your listeners really buy what you’re saying about the couple.

Make It Quick

"The best length for a toast is about three minutes," Polansky says. "It’s enough time to say what you need to say, but short enough that you’ll still have everyone’s attention when you ask them to raise their glasses to toast the happy couple."

Rehearse Regularly

The better prepared you are, the more confident you'll be and the better your speech will be, says Barry Maher, an author and professional speaker. A good rule of thumb is to practice the speech enough that you can remember the points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out to the crowd and make eye contact every so often.

Think you know what three minutes feels like? You may want to reconsider. "Practice reading your speech out loud (not in your head!) and time yourself," Polansky says. "Don’t wing it, especially if you’re nervous. Give yourself time to prepare. Practice with an audience to check your timing, and give yourself time to make edits."

Record Yourself Practicing

Use your phone to take a video of yourself practicing, suggests Kate Kenfield, a speaker, writer, and sex educator. "It can be a little uncomfortable to watch yourself, but you'll be able to identify distracting mannerisms, such as the verbal pauses 'um,' 'uh,' and 'like,'" she says. "It's also a good idea to practice your speech in front of someone else. "A second opinion can help you craft your piece and make it that much stronger," she adds.

Avoid Alcohol

Although it may be tempting to look for some liquid courage, alcohol definitely won't do you any favors, says Amy Morin, a keynote speaker and the author of13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do. "It may cause you to slur your speech and forget your lines, so wait until after your toast to celebrate," she advises. If you need a drink to loosen up the nerves or can't refrain from participating in a toast without being rude, stick to one glass of Champagne before you address the crowd.

Use Nerves to Your Advantage

A little nervousness can actually liven up your speech. "I get worried if I'm not a little nervous," Maher says. "I'll actually try to make myself a little tense to get my energy level up." The key is to harness that energy and communicate it in a positive, genuine way; tensing up to the point that you forget your words or panic won't make for a great presentation.

Be Yourself

Keep in mind that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Trying too hard to force the funny can yield the opposite of the desired effect, cautions Matt Dalley, the co-founder of Simply Eloped. "I've noticed that keeping it short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and coming across as authentic and focused on the couple is something we are all capable of and generates some very wonderful moments," he says.

Address Your Audience

Focusing on yourself only enhances nerves, says Mark Black, a speaker and life strategy coach. "Instead, concentrate on your audience and how you want them to feel," he recommends. "This will help you to speak from the heart, allowing your speech to do what it's supposed to do: Make the couple feel special while also engaging the audience."

Never Embarrass the Newlyweds

It's a wedding toast, not a roast. While this should go without saying, keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of it, and remember that grandma and possibly a few colleagues are in the audience, says Laurie Battaglia, a keynote speaker and workplace strategist. "It's okay to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but ask yourself if you'd like 200-plus of your closest friends knowing that story about you."

Don't Overstuff Your Speech

"If you’re a fast talker, try to slow yourself down so that everyone will understand you," Polansky says. (Better to cut a few lines than to try to fit a 10-minute toast into a three-minute time frame.)

Use Your Notes

Try to avoid reading your speech straight from a piece of paper. However, having a couple of notes handy is encouraged. "You're likely to be nervous, excited, and exhausted, which can make you forget your lines," Morin says. "The audience won't care if you glance at your notes. In fact, there's a good chance they won't even notice."

Wedding Speech Brainstorm Ideas

Need some inspiration? Ask yourself these questions to get the brainstorming process going.

• Who will speak before you? After you? How will this affect the content of your toast?
• Is there someone you should thank for making the event possible and inviting you to speak?
• What would you want to hear in this speech if you were in the audience?
• What is your first memory of the bride/groom?
• What is your favorite memory of the bride/groom?
• What did he/she say when he/she first told you about his/her partner?
• How did you know they were meant to be?
• What has the bride/groom or the couple as a whole taught you?
• What qualities do you admire in them?
• When are times that they displayed these qualities?

Wedding Speech Examples to Make Your Own

Wondering what it looks like when all of these elements come together? Wedding vow and speechwriter Katelyn Peterson, owner and creator of Wedding Words, offered us three examples of successful toasts to inspire your own.

Maid of Honor Wedding Speech Example

"Hi, I’m Maya, the bride’s older sister. With Lucy being three years younger, we fell right into our respective roles as sister-rivals growing up. We constantly fought over stolen clothes, monopolizing the phone back when landlines were a thing, and what boy band to blare from the car speakers. I’m still Team Backstreet Boys while Lucy is forever indebted to NSYNC.

Looking back on those memories, I should have stepped up and granted Lucy permission to wear my favorite sweater for picture day, to hand her the phone once in a while, and to let her play, 'Bye Bye Bye.' Even I can admit that’s a good one. But despite Lucy being the younger sister, she has always been more patient, more accommodating, and more thoughtful than me. And that’s because when it comes to the people she loves, she’s all in.

She’s the one to prioritize their desires. She’s the one to compromise first. And, she’s the one to support their dreams as if they were her own. 

Cheers to Lucy and David! May you always feel loved because you always put each other first."

Best Man Wedding Speech Example

"Hello, everyone. My name is Luke, and I’m the best man. I met Robert eight years ago when I became his neighbor. His reputation preceded him as I had heard about the 'Block Party King' before my closing papers were inked. 

Rob has never been the guy to wear fancy clothes. In fact, I’m still in shock seeing him in that tux tonight. And he’s never been the guy to show off, even though the work he’s put into his vintage Mustang could make Henry Ford himself envious.

But when it comes to cooking, he should receive an award. His pulled pork is a staple at our summer block parties and his homemade barbeque sauce has remained our neighborhood’s best-kept secret. But the most satisfying part about his delicious dishes is that there’s always plenty to go around. And Rob makes sure your plate is never empty. I have no idea how he pulls it off, but Rob has a covert ability to scoop seconds onto your plate without you ever seeing him do it. I hope you all came hungry tonight, folks. You’ve been warned! 

The first time I met Jasmine I could immediately tell she was an amazing person. She laughed at his jokes, which I never thought anyone would get. She supported his career and the nonstop travel involved. But most importantly, whenever we’re all hanging out, Jasmine is the one always topping off Rob’s plate with more pasta, more chicken, more of everything. When she’s around, it’s never empty. 

So let’s raise our glasses to toast the newlyweds! As you begin this next chapter together, may your plates and your hearts always remain full."

Father-of-the-Bride Wedding Speech Example

"Good evening, family, and friends. I’m Daniel Lee, the father of the bride. I’d like to welcome you to this special occasion where we get to celebrate the love between my daughter Allison and her new wife, Kristin. 

Standing up here today, I’m reminded of all the moments that led to this significant one. The dance recitals that ended with standing ovations and the soccer games that concluded with winning scoreboards. 

But, while those were fun and rewarding times, those aren’t the moments I cherish most with Allison. The memories that make me smile the brightest are those in-between the big stuff moments. It’s the makeshift magic shows in our living room using a bedsheet that Allison confiscated from our linen closet to convert into a curtain. It’s the countless tea parties she hosted with exclusive invitations just for me and her beloved stuffed bear, Buttons. And it’s the way she’d beg to stay up for just five more minutes but was asleep on the couch by minute number two.

So, my beautiful daughter, as you begin your life with Kristin today, I have one wish for you: May your warmest memories come from the ordinary moments throughout your marriage, and may those moments give you a reason to smile brighter every day. Cheers! I love you both."