How to Write a Heartfelt Letter to the Bride If You're Her Bridesmaid, Friend, or Family

If you’re a bridesmaid, friend, or family member of the bride, you’re probably looking for ways to make the woman of the hour feel loved and celebrated on her wedding day. While buying her a gift and showering her with compliments are common—and definitely appreciated—ways to make her big day extra special, one of the most moving and heartfelt gestures is writing her a letter to read before she walks down the aisle. 

Jotting down words of love, encouragement, and support to share with the bride is budget-friendly and easily doable—all you need is a piece of paper, a pen, and a place to reflect and write. Best of all, the payoff is extremely worthwhile: These touching remarks will make the bride feel seen and appreciated, and she’ll have a keepsake to treasure forever.

“There’s usually so much going on [on the wedding day], so it can be hard to keep track of everything everyone is saying to you, but you want to,” planner Manda Worthington explains. “You want to treasure all of the love and words of wisdom that you get from the people who mean the most, so to have a letter that you can look back on and read over and over again feels timeless and so impactful on a day as emotional as your wedding.”

Whether you opt for a sweet and sentimental tone or one that’s funny and lighthearted, there are so many ways to make the bride feel loved through your words. If you’re unsure where to begin, we’ve created a comprehensive guide that will help you craft your note like a wordsmith. Ahead, how to write a letter to the bride.

What to Include in a Letter to the Bride

Typically, these heartfelt notes congratulate the bride before expressing well-wishes, words of love and support, personal memories, and advice. According to planner Victoria Holland, you can also convey your own feelings about the day and any other sentiments that will leave a lasting impact on her. 

That said, the type of content that you include in your letter to the bride depends on the type of relationship you have with her and your personality. If you’re her maid of honor who has been her best friend since childhood, you’ll probably want to reminisce on the past, reflect on the qualities that you admire most about her, and tell her how much she means to you. If you’re the bride’s cousin who has a lighthearted and humorous rapport with the woman saying “I do,” you’ll want to fill your note with funny anecdotes and inside jokes. 

How to Structure a Letter to the Bride

There isn’t any particular rule you need to follow in terms of the structure of the letter, according to Worthington. “I think it should just be from the heart and express whatever feels important for her to know,” she mentions. If following a certain format will help you organize your thoughts and write more effectively, though, you can follow the traditional flow of any school paper: an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. This might look like opening the letter by congratulating the bride, sharing memories and stories in the following paragraph, and ending the note with well-wishes for the future. Then, remember to sign the letter and date it.

Tips for Writing a Letter to the Bride

Whether you’re in need of some guidance or you’re dealing with writer’s block, here are expert-approved tips to nail your letter to the bride.

Give Yourself Ample Time

If you wait until the last minute to jot down your thoughts, your letter probably won’t have as much substance. To craft a thoughtful, thorough message, Worthington suggests starting the writing process at least three weeks before the wedding. That way, you’ll have plenty of time to reflect on what you want to say and think of the right words to communicate that sentiment.

Write It by Hand

A handwritten letter is more personal and intimate than typing one on the computer, so make sure to write yours by hand. “It really adds to the specialness of the whole moment,” Holland says. Choose a nice piece of stationery and a pretty-colored pen to convey your words of love and appreciation.

Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

The content you include in your letter to the bride matters much more than the length, according to Holland. As long as you’ve communicated your message, it doesn’t matter whether your note is three sentences or three pages long. Just taking the time to write down your thoughts will surely have a meaningful impact.

Explain the Reason for the Letter

While you can always free-write, pinpointing exactly why you wanted to write the letter in the first place will give you important content to include in your note. Maybe you liked the idea of capturing your love in a tangible way, or perhaps you were set on giving her a unique and emotional gift that she will keep through the years.

Speak from the Heart

Since you care about the bride, you’re probably feeling the pressure to write an eloquent letter that perfectly reflects how you feel. But overthinking will only slow down the writing process and make you second-guess what you know to be true. Worthington recommends speaking from the heart and saying how you really feel. An authentic message, not a flawless one, will be more touching.

Embrace Humor

Don’t be afraid to add jokes and funny stories to your letter to the bride, especially if the two of you have humorous banter. Holland also mentions that making the bride smile or laugh will help calm any pre-wedding jitters. 

An Example of a Letter to the Bride

Need some inspiration for your letter to the bride? Here’s an example that will get your creative juices flowing.

Dear Grace, 

I can’t believe you’re getting married! Congratulations! I’m so happy that you found your person, and I’m so incredibly grateful that I get to be a part of your special day.

I still remember the day we first met. I was the new girl in school, uncertain about this transition and afraid that I would have to walk the halls alone. As I entered my first class, you immediately gave me a warm smile, introduced yourself, and cracked a joke about the teacher. My nerves quickly melted away, and I knew I wouldn’t have to worry anymore. You made me feel welcome and comfortable from the start, and your kindness and warmth have never faltered. Josh is a lucky guy!

Ever since then, we’ve been attached at the hip, laughing until our ribs hurt, polishing off pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and spending endless hours on FaceTime. You’ve been there for me for every big moment in my life, from starting college to moving into my apartment, and I’m so glad that I get to return the favor and be a part of this one for you. Here’s to many more memories as you start this new chapter as a newlywed!

Your best friend,

Eliza